~ Gaaah ~

I had a couple things I was reading over the weekend about reframing and how it can be used for good or bad. I’ve always found myself hesitant to write about certain things because some would use it for bad vs. the good ways. I have no control over how something I say is used. That’s also quite a lot of responsibility for someone else’s actions or lack thereof to put on myself.

^^ Something to get rid of.

There was this huge uproar on G+ over the weekend via various groups of people. I stayed out of it, I don’t know where it specifically started and I have no place in the core of it because it’s billowed like … a tornado devouring houses (humans) in its path. I’ve told people off in my time, probably will again in the future. I watched quietly however it made me feel pretty bad. You can’t siphon through all that to find middle ground, you can however it’s ongoing so, there’s no starting point as to anything. I try to mind my own business, usually. No gouge too deep for some. Every time I argue it’s for a good cause, I think. I guess that’s why they’re doing it too. Definitely. It still felt pretty bad to read.

In other news, I asked this human I know, who mentioned this behavior they have if they got that from their mother. LOLOL Because behaviors trickle down in life w/o us even realizing it. The only reason I referenced their mom is because there was a story about how one reacts to things, which clicked so I combined the two, it’s a possibility. However, you know, it could have been any one else in their life as well who they were around. Not “only” our parents. Although, it does start there…

I think the most interesting aspect of all of us, myself included is … do we see the contradictions we carry around with us, on a daily basis. Those are incredible. It goes a little something like this.

Say this, do that, be this person here, that person over there, and someone else in between over here. So, who are you really and why are you doing that? I’m not talking about how speaking to different people, one may use different communication skills or cool things like that.

It’s like projecting the worst things possible out into the world, w/o checking in with one’s self to see the contradictions from one thing to the other to ourselves. I see mine, some I miss, certainly.

The topic of jealousy came up yesterday. How men speak to other women (or visa versa) when they’re in a relationship. I’m very complimentative to people, the more salacious things I usually reserve (to the I’ll do you later when I see you aspect of things) for a significant other. The only person I want to “get to” sexually is my significant other and hopefully, :) They’re equally as talented as it pertains to me. It seems like … while I love kidding around and all that good stuff, some go “this far” with it, other’s are soothing themselves because they’re not happy, with who and/or what they have. So the need is filled by teasing, flirting etc., with other people. It’s all good, doesn’t mean they’re doing anything bad, it just seems like … empty.

I’d rather not be involved, if I’m not happy with someone and looking to get my needs filled elsewhere than stay and feel empty or sooth myself with something on the surface vs. something deeper. Kidding around is all good, I think that’s good. Healthy, fun, etc., nice… what about the one on one connections?

I have to go. People know the lines they cross. I’m always interested in the why of it. Me? I want to be with a person I can share it with. You want to see my browser history? Sure… can I see yours? Sure. <— that's the appropriate response. I mean, why can't I see, if they can see and why wouldn't people want to share. Don't explain it to me. I get it.

What will people think if they knew. Oh, I don't know, maybe more honesty in their relationships where you don't feel that space. Maybe more honesty and knowing who you're compatible with vs. hiding who you are. I would like to know those things. I mean you're including a human being into your life so, why wouldn't one want to include them "in your life".

All rhetorical. I get it. Don't explain it. I'm not talking about obsessive control or stalking someone, although seeing what a person does when they think you're not looking is entertaining. At minimum. Some days, I feel like, I'm in trouble … meaning, are my standards too high?

No. They're not.

Oh the jealousy topic. :) oops. Well this one person was jealous because someone they knew was complimenting another woman, they showed me. I laughed a little bit. Asked her a few questions about it, she grinned. They were good questions and they went on to say how said human was being punished because they weren't going to be getting any. lolol

Oh. People still do that huh? See… if you're angry at a person and don't feel like sleeping with them because it hasn't been resolved, that's one thing. If you're withholding sex to punish a person for something, how is that conducive to having a healthy relationship? So, the guy has no idea what it is she's seen (he doesn't know) and he's not getting any. So, I said… so you are going to punish yourself by withholding sex because he said something to another woman, that made you feel afraid and insecure (this is true however he does talk to everyone that way, much like I kid around with people "to a point" myself) and he has no idea why? Do you feel that's a healthy relationship for the two of you?

I'm sorry… ya'll think any of this relationship shit has changed in the past 30 years?

I'll stick to what I'd like, my standard. I would like to feel free and if myself and someone isn't a good mixture, I'd like to see that so hopefully we can avoid hurting each other later on down the line by ignoring things. Don't explain it to me. I get it.

Are you the person you say you want.

Or is it laced with contradictions.

I wonder, if I would shit my pants, if I found a person who thinks like me. :)

Now that would be interesting. Doesn't have to be precisely, however… it would be interesting.

I gotta go. :)

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