~ While you’re busy processing ~ Emotional manipulation

While you’re busy rationally thinking about a topic to come to middle ground the emotional manipulator “knows you” and knows what buttons to push. I’ve always found this behavior despicable, it’s demoralizing and eats away at you. Once you’ve had enough, if you’re aware of it, even the slightest behavior, relating to this type of behavior will have you wanting to lunge at the individual and rip their throat out.

As always, by the time you’ve had enough, they’ve won. They look like an angel and you’re off your rocker. Well played. Cunt. No, it’s a man. I’m at the end of my rope, I said it the other day, it usually passes. That’s not a good thing, however with the other one there, I’m just done. What surprised me today was a tactic I’ve missed for a year. Mainly, because I don’t think like that and it’s just something they’ve always done. Work is put up on a high shelf, in order and we grab them one after the other. The two of them are doing it now, what it is, is they’ll walk out, look around busying themselves, stand long enough for you to notice them looking at the tapes.

Quiet message: This work isn’t getting done. Fuck. You. Today he accused me of trying to circle him… WTF? I was like, circular logic? He says no and I have no idea what he said after that, I turned and ignored him. It was just more fukkery.

I’m trying to describe the depth of my disgust here. What it feels like, is you’re cold inside, you’re indifferent, and while you’re indifferent because games aren’t my thing, they’re well behaved. There’s always a good behavior period after fighting. Shocking. So, I feel like shit when I’m like that, I lightened up a little bit today and he shifted too. He knows what he does, I know it, he knows it. Now it’s at the point where his voice, posturing etc., will change and I simply turn and look at him with pretty much an evil dead look in my eyes.

Time to GTFO of there. Because that aspect of my personality, never, ever yields any good results. Again, they look like the angel and you look like the utter fucktard. You snap, they look like the good one, I could give a flying fuck if I look like a fucktard, I just know how this all works. Basically, what’s happening now is I snarl, literally snarl. My left nostril curls upwards on it’s own, accompanied by the dead stare “through” whomever it is. I’m done talking, why the fuck would I be talking, saying anything etc.? There’s no point.

it’s all this big clusterfuck of bullshit. They read people well. I do it for good reasons, they do it for theirs. Which are not good. I remember, we had a lot of work, shocking and I got up to put a message where it goes, he was like,

Them: You don’t have to get up and put that there, I’ll come get it for you.
Translation: If you get up, you’re not typing, I’m trying to look good and save face by making it seem like I give a flying fuck about you getting up.
Me: No, I can’t just sit here 8 hours a day w/o moving.

Them: She (me) has a way with people, she’s very good.
Translation: She’s good with people, I can use that skill to serve myself. It’s a double edged compliment to serve them.
Me: Thank you, I am good with people.

Them: Why isn’t this in the book?!! (dates etc.,)
Me: Who opened the mail and did I see it?
Them: diversion whatever… blaaaah fucking blaaaah. Nothing to do with me.

Them: Rips every new person apart who starts, tests them to see what they’re made of by diverting them and acting like an ass.
Me: Did it to me too. I assure you, having a backbone is not worth all this.
Translation: I thought it was a communication issue initially based on stress. It’s not, it’s who they are and they do it with intent. Remorse only follows when you block them out and are indifferent. They seem to want you to be open again, they don’t like you blocking them out. Oops.

What happens is, one will say, don’t you know that he can convince himself of a lie?
Yeah. No shit. Because taking responsibility for one’s actions is utter bullshit that case that was not diaried the other day, a notice came in he didn’t fucking give it to me! I kept thinking, why wouldn’t I write that in the book, it’s important. When the woman on the phone told me they had set a notice out, I thought… Oh, okay, when it comes I’ll put it, I was swamped as usual so it made sense.

I have to wait until I’m not buried to rip it apart. However I’m looking. I may not find something else better, I hope so though. I caution anyone who seeks to rip someone’s behaviors apart, your focus is all wrong.

I’m telling you now, your focus is all wrong. You’re assuming you’re dealing with a rational, mutuality seeking human being who has good behavior periods, however that’s a mistake. They want what they want and as long as you’re doing as your told, they’re happy. Since I happen to have a lot of experience in this position, they’re doing it WRONG. PERIOD. The lack of organization, the lack of realizing the work load, the lack of realizing the way work has to be done etc., the fact that they’re scattered and have too much work for one person and now two is, it’s like a mini fucking sweat shop.

Any time said human says, “Don’t worry about it?” It ends up being a stressful event for me. I’ve already advised them they have this illusion of time scurrying through their head and they’re not catching on. They’re not rationalizing the manner in which the work is getting done, how it needs to be done and how fucked up shit is. I advised them I was over paid with replacement checks he gave me (Yes, this is the 5th time my paycheck has bounced, thank you for that additional stress that I have to pay that much attention), to save face I he says, “Oh you think I didn’t know”… why? Because he didn’t want ME to think that He wasn’t paying attention. He was not paying attention. He simply wanted to protect himself from any assumption I “could” make in the future as to his memory or lack thereof. And I’ve never been dishonest. Anything I’ve ever shown him etc., has been spot on.

I don’t speak fucktard, I speak lets find what works. I’m not attached to only my way, however when your way isn’t fucking working and it’s causing me emotional duress, primarily due to how things are done when I KNOW things could be better “if”… you’re am imbecile. He knows what he does. His idea of punishment is to not speak to you. GOOD lolol that’s bad? Pfffftttt… Ignoring me etc., is not a problem. I’m glad, I have fucking work to do. Goes to intent. Indifferent is ignoring someone, however they brought it on themselves based on the past years worth of my repeatedly telling them, redirecting them, etc., and the last thing I mentioned was how when they do “this” (the tantrums) it gives me chest pains. This is true. Fuck off. This is who they are. I said this 6 months ago, it’s not going to change. And for fucks sakes, I’m going to miss the animals. They jump all over me in the morning, they come by me, they lay by me, the one talks to me… I wish I could explain it to them, they’re as happy to see me as their owner. That fucking sucks because I know they’ll feel it. They’re not even mine! Doesn’t matter, certainly not. Love them anyway. :)

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9 Responses to ~ While you’re busy processing ~ Emotional manipulation

  1. kdaddy23 says:

    Ah, man, Mystery… I just don’t know what to say! But I do have a question: Which is worse, being emotionally manipulated or knowing that it can be done to you?

    • Mystery says:

      This is not a one sided question actually. Rather, not a one sided response.

      Knowing. If you want a black and white response, it’s knowing. You know I hate this shit, I just don’t think like that. It’s not that, I don’t sense it… I do. In the initial phase, you figure… well, “this that or the other thing” we “assume” we’re dealing with a logical rational human being. And that’s how the party starts.

      At a job, it’s not like.. you can just walk out. You need the money. So the game begins. The contradictions in who this individual is, are astounding. If I were a man, I would punch him in the face. :) Oops.

      • kdaddy23 says:

        Or, my friend, you could just ignore all of the dumb shit, keep your head down, and do what you get paid to do. No escaping having to interact with others but you get selective hearing – hear what you need to hear and ignore the other shit.

        That’s what sane people do. I know you hate it, love, but you seem to see it everywhere, in everything, and damned near everyone. I know that you know that everyone is a manipulator to some extent or the other – we’ve talked about this offline – so you know that when you’re paying so much attention to what others are doing in this, you are being manipulated as well.

        And you don’t have to be a man to punch a man in the face; you just have to be able to deal with whatever happens when you do.

        • Mystery says:

          Welp, naow, you don’t do it to me and many other people, also do not do it to me. :) There are plenty of nice humans who don’t do this bullshit. I am well aware of them. Silly, nonsensical whatever stuff? Sure, but not this stuff.

          KD I don’t know how to let it not invade my system. It’s right there, it’s in my face and in my system. If I put my head down, it will kill me. I’d rather leave and hope I find better. I mean this literally, if I were to put my head down, it would absorb into my system anyway. Ignoring behavior like this, doesn’t make it go away. This type of person, as you know, to me, must be removed. I don’t want fucktards around me. I know too many other people who are nice, who are communicative to put my head down.

          The other young lady at work? New girl, she’s like WTF? Interestingly enough, if I give him a look when he gives her shit, he tempers himself. I’m too old for this bullshit. I will not allow a person to do this to someone in my presence either.

          lolol That’s fair enough about being able to deal with whatever happens if I should. I won’t, it makes me angry though. Me’be a tack on his chair? :)

          • Mystery says:

            What I can do, actually, which feels horrible… is to continue to be indifferent and let him deal with himself. He can’t feed off of anything I’m not giving him. It’s who he is, he’s been this way forever, everyone knows it, they’ve all told me so and it’s intermingled with kindness which is actually, genuine with no agenda whatsoever. His lack of self control and bullshit is his problem and he’s made it mine. it’s time for him to go.

          • kdaddy23 says:

            Honey, you don’t have to leave and find another job because of this shit! You just have to not pay so much damned attention to it! Okay, since you’re interested in the psychology of it all, when you see it, okay, been there, done that, the whole T-shirt thing… but unless it’s some new form you haven’t seen before, you just note it and keep right on working.

            You are aware that you can’t save everyone from being manipulated, aren’t you? And if you are, why do you try to save everyone and more so if they don’t think they need to be saved?

            If you are, in fact, too old to be messing with this shit, why are you messing with it? You can ignore it if you want to because if someone else is being manipulated in some way, what does that have to do with you? If the person being manipulated doesn’t know how to defend themselves against such things, is that really your problem… or is it theirs? Truly, is it any of your business to begin with?

            Just being the advocate, of course; I think it’s fucking hilarious to read of your adventures in preventing manipulation – I keep seeing windmills in my mind and you on a horse with a lance… except today’s windmills are big fucking wind turbines with really big blades – makes the vision even funnier.

            At the same time, it worries me ’cause I consider myself a friend.

            • Mystery says:

              G’Morning. :) lolol @ windmills, horses and lances. I just woke up and you are a friend and I appreciate your suggestions.

              Have you ever seen, a full grown human being, intentionally kick a puppy? It’s weaker, it’s sweet and someone fucks with it? That’s what it feels like, when I see one person, messing with another in this manner. I stay out of “a lot” of shit, believe me.

              It is and it isn’t my business. I couldn’t stand by and watch someone kick a puppy, this is the same thing. I wait and see how a person deals with it.

              The question really is, why would any one (me) stay in any relationship (because it is) with a person who behaves in this manner.

              Times when this person twists things, his entire face gets distorted. Last year, I don’t recall what they couldn’t find, they were standing on the other side of the room literally enraged over something that, guess what? Had nothing to do with me. One time, he was stressed out and out of the fucking blue, started lashing out at me in “such anger” over “nothing” because why? HE was stressed out? Such tantrum rage from an adult, is unacceptable, the environment is toxic, I’ve waited too long and the dynamics have changed more now.

              My mistake is not finding a new job sooner.

              https://mysterycoachdsi.wordpress.com/2014/03/12/can-you-feel-it/

              https://mysterycoachdsi.wordpress.com/2014/03/13/cuz-rage-is-so-much-better/

              • kdaddy23 says:

                You’re in a relationship with such a person? How the hell did THAT happen, knowing how you are about this behavior? Did you, my friend, get manipulated into thinking he was okay and found out he didn’t really qualify for okay?

                If it’s a working relationship, well, babe, you gotta work and I can assure you that unless you work from home all the time, you’re always gonna wind up working around people who manipulate and more so since you like working for law firms – there’s a reason why Shakespeare suggested that all the lawyers should be killed first because of their ability to manipulate the truth and the people trying to seek the truth.

                To this end, you can run… but you can’t hide. You might not like that someone would kick a puppy and you find yourself compelled to defend the helpless puppy – I know I would be – but you also have to understand that there might not be anything you can do about it and that doing something may cause more problems than you’re prepared to deal with.

                But adult humans aren’t puppies and if they haven’t learned how to protect themselves, okay, they might need a protector or even a teacher so that they can protect themselves but, still, you can’t save or protect everyone – it’s impossible to do it, Mystery and, yes, it can be painful to know that you can’t and that, sometimes, you just have to stand there and watch it and not like what you’re seeing.

                I know I wouldn’t let anyone force me to leave a job because of their behavior unless, of course, I’m trying to avoid going to jail because they fucked with me one time too many and I sent them to the local ICU. I have worked around such people and while it is bothersome, I learned to not pay any attention to it because I get paid to do a job and not to deal with their emotional/psychological issues.

                So, to that end, they can do whatever floats their boat… as long as they don’t mess with me because I will make them regret it because I can protect myself and I will protect myself against such behavior. But, of course, this is me; I’ve learned to ignore it even in a relationship setting because I have better things to pay attention to.

                If it’s a personal relationship, one of us will be leaving it because I only have so much patience with such stupidity; if it’s a working relationship, I might decide to leave IF I have no other choice but it would gall and haunt me that some asshole’s behavior bothered me so much that I chose to quit.

                Uh-uh, ain’t gonna happen unless it’s in my best interest to do so. But I fear that your… obsession with this will make you spend more time being unemployed than employed; there are only so many jobs these days and, as much as I hate saying this, your obsession with this is manipulating you in ways that really and seriously bother me: They’re not doing it to you, you’re doing it to yourself.

                Handle your bizness as you see fit, doll…

                • Mystery says:

                  Oh. fuck no. I’m not in a relationship romantically with this person. To me, any person we are involved with, in our daily life is a form of a relationship. i.e., friends, bosses, co-workers etc. Feel better? lolol

                  I have to be brief right now. As to leaving and it bothering me on any level as to leaving due to a personal choice? That’s all ego related, in this regard, I could care less and would drop that like a hot cake. No ego required, I don’t care. :)

                  You’re saying, if it was a personal relationship, they’d be gone. Consider all your relationships as personal as they all affect us. Particularly those we spend the most time around or with. If this was a live person, who did not affect my income, they would have been gone a long time ago.

                  Assholes in life are made to be removed. I’ve let this shit go on 6 months past its expiration date as it is. I’m not going to cut my nose off to spite my face, I obviously need the job, however I’m not doing this anymore. It’s not healthy.

                  I hear what you’re saying about an adult and taking care of themselves. If I am able to help a person, in my vicinity, who is being emotionally, mentally and physically abused in any manner. I’m going to do it. I think you know that. I’m selective, in front of my face though… this girl here now? She’s already looking for a new job, she’s been here 1 month. The other one they hired, also quit after 1 month. Same reasons as I’m looking now.

                  You can snap someone’s neck, etc., ICU etc., and that’s the thing, my limits were gone months ago. I hear what you’re saying, there are degrees of fukkery people deliver in life, as you know, I’m not up for this type of crap.

                  :)

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