While you’re busy rationally thinking about a topic to come to middle ground the emotional manipulator “knows you” and knows what buttons to push. I’ve always found this behavior despicable, it’s demoralizing and eats away at you. Once you’ve had enough, if you’re aware of it, even the slightest behavior, relating to this type of behavior will have you wanting to lunge at the individual and rip their throat out.
As always, by the time you’ve had enough, they’ve won. They look like an angel and you’re off your rocker. Well played. Cunt. No, it’s a man. I’m at the end of my rope, I said it the other day, it usually passes. That’s not a good thing, however with the other one there, I’m just done. What surprised me today was a tactic I’ve missed for a year. Mainly, because I don’t think like that and it’s just something they’ve always done. Work is put up on a high shelf, in order and we grab them one after the other. The two of them are doing it now, what it is, is they’ll walk out, look around busying themselves, stand long enough for you to notice them looking at the tapes.
Quiet message: This work isn’t getting done. Fuck. You. Today he accused me of trying to circle him… WTF? I was like, circular logic? He says no and I have no idea what he said after that, I turned and ignored him. It was just more fukkery.
I’m trying to describe the depth of my disgust here. What it feels like, is you’re cold inside, you’re indifferent, and while you’re indifferent because games aren’t my thing, they’re well behaved. There’s always a good behavior period after fighting. Shocking. So, I feel like shit when I’m like that, I lightened up a little bit today and he shifted too. He knows what he does, I know it, he knows it. Now it’s at the point where his voice, posturing etc., will change and I simply turn and look at him with pretty much an evil dead look in my eyes.
Time to GTFO of there. Because that aspect of my personality, never, ever yields any good results. Again, they look like the angel and you look like the utter fucktard. You snap, they look like the good one, I could give a flying fuck if I look like a fucktard, I just know how this all works. Basically, what’s happening now is I snarl, literally snarl. My left nostril curls upwards on it’s own, accompanied by the dead stare “through” whomever it is. I’m done talking, why the fuck would I be talking, saying anything etc.? There’s no point.
it’s all this big clusterfuck of bullshit. They read people well. I do it for good reasons, they do it for theirs. Which are not good. I remember, we had a lot of work, shocking and I got up to put a message where it goes, he was like,
Them: You don’t have to get up and put that there, I’ll come get it for you.
Translation: If you get up, you’re not typing, I’m trying to look good and save face by making it seem like I give a flying fuck about you getting up.
Me: No, I can’t just sit here 8 hours a day w/o moving.
Them: She (me) has a way with people, she’s very good.
Translation: She’s good with people, I can use that skill to serve myself. It’s a double edged compliment to serve them.
Me: Thank you, I am good with people.
Them: Why isn’t this in the book?!! (dates etc.,)
Me: Who opened the mail and did I see it?
Them: diversion whatever… blaaaah fucking blaaaah. Nothing to do with me.
Them: Rips every new person apart who starts, tests them to see what they’re made of by diverting them and acting like an ass.
Me: Did it to me too. I assure you, having a backbone is not worth all this.
Translation: I thought it was a communication issue initially based on stress. It’s not, it’s who they are and they do it with intent. Remorse only follows when you block them out and are indifferent. They seem to want you to be open again, they don’t like you blocking them out. Oops.
What happens is, one will say, don’t you know that he can convince himself of a lie?
Yeah. No shit. Because taking responsibility for one’s actions is utter bullshit that case that was not diaried the other day, a notice came in he didn’t fucking give it to me! I kept thinking, why wouldn’t I write that in the book, it’s important. When the woman on the phone told me they had set a notice out, I thought… Oh, okay, when it comes I’ll put it, I was swamped as usual so it made sense.
I have to wait until I’m not buried to rip it apart. However I’m looking. I may not find something else better, I hope so though. I caution anyone who seeks to rip someone’s behaviors apart, your focus is all wrong.
I’m telling you now, your focus is all wrong. You’re assuming you’re dealing with a rational, mutuality seeking human being who has good behavior periods, however that’s a mistake. They want what they want and as long as you’re doing as your told, they’re happy. Since I happen to have a lot of experience in this position, they’re doing it WRONG. PERIOD. The lack of organization, the lack of realizing the work load, the lack of realizing the way work has to be done etc., the fact that they’re scattered and have too much work for one person and now two is, it’s like a mini fucking sweat shop.
Any time said human says, “Don’t worry about it?” It ends up being a stressful event for me. I’ve already advised them they have this illusion of time scurrying through their head and they’re not catching on. They’re not rationalizing the manner in which the work is getting done, how it needs to be done and how fucked up shit is. I advised them I was over paid with replacement checks he gave me (Yes, this is the 5th time my paycheck has bounced, thank you for that additional stress that I have to pay that much attention), to save face I he says, “Oh you think I didn’t know”… why? Because he didn’t want ME to think that He wasn’t paying attention. He was not paying attention. He simply wanted to protect himself from any assumption I “could” make in the future as to his memory or lack thereof. And I’ve never been dishonest. Anything I’ve ever shown him etc., has been spot on.
I don’t speak fucktard, I speak lets find what works. I’m not attached to only my way, however when your way isn’t fucking working and it’s causing me emotional duress, primarily due to how things are done when I KNOW things could be better “if”… you’re am imbecile. He knows what he does. His idea of punishment is to not speak to you. GOOD lolol that’s bad? Pfffftttt… Ignoring me etc., is not a problem. I’m glad, I have fucking work to do. Goes to intent. Indifferent is ignoring someone, however they brought it on themselves based on the past years worth of my repeatedly telling them, redirecting them, etc., and the last thing I mentioned was how when they do “this” (the tantrums) it gives me chest pains. This is true. Fuck off. This is who they are. I said this 6 months ago, it’s not going to change. And for fucks sakes, I’m going to miss the animals. They jump all over me in the morning, they come by me, they lay by me, the one talks to me… I wish I could explain it to them, they’re as happy to see me as their owner. That fucking sucks because I know they’ll feel it. They’re not even mine! Doesn’t matter, certainly not. Love them anyway. :)