When I learned of the mistake, I aged 5 years instantaneously. I really wanted it to be the court’s fault because I’d called those human’s 4/5 times and finally sent a letter because, I respect that they’re overwhelmed, so a letter speaks volumes. I get a phone call. Good. They advise me that they’ve scheduled it. NO YOU UTTER ASSHOLES. Because I wasn’t advised to “do this one thing” I need more time. They said, they already sent out the notices. What this means is, they fucked up not returning my call, so to remedy it as it was a date, instead of returning my phone call and to save their ass, they scheduled it. AFTER that they called and of course, now it’s too late and they certainly didn’t want any extra work, to change the date to the end of the month. Moving on.
So, while it’s fixable, it was a collective thing. Primarily, it fell to me because I didn’t put it there. I know. I felt horrible. I’d give you the history of responsibility and the fukkery that prefaced the entire thing, however… that would be my looking to negate blame in some way. The above also seems the same. I know. I’m not, however there is truly a valid history. Anyway… I go in today, I go to ask a question and WWIII hits. At me, in my face, over something else entirely, not the real issue, but something else entirely.
Their tail whipped around like a scorpion, lashing back and forth, looking for the appropriate place to strike. Truth be told, we were both shaking in anger. Me being attacked like that and him being angry. I’ve had numerous arguments about the organization of things, the diversion of work being done, how I’m interrupted but the point is… it wasn’t fucking there. Regardless of the valid reasoning behind it. Fuck.
I took responsibility for it. I tried to remedy it prior, to no avail. I could easily have diverted it. That’s a cowardly move, not my thing. Other people seem to have no problem with it, I’ve dealt with that as well. I go to ask one thing, I get screamed at for “something else”… Oh goody, first thing in the morning I have to focus, THAT hard on what they’re doing. Oh, goody. So, it continues, for about 15 minutes I guess.Here’s your question. I don’t care if a man won’t ever hit a woman. Do men know, (Yes, women pull this crap too, one must be fair, I’ve seen it. I have no tolerance for them either.) when they scream like that, with such rage, how frightening it is? It’s not a normal rage level, not normal anger and other things, “which had nothing to do with me” have happened in the past wherein they freaked out and it was literally nothing I’d done, they were lashing out irrationally about shit that had nothing to do with me and later on try to make an excuse. When it has been irrationally charged, mind you, bad behavior is still bad behavior. It’s the perfect emotionally abusive relationship and may I say, “again” that it’s truly not my job to keep them in line. If you don’t stand up for yourself, you’ll be lying in a pool of insecurities and manipulated confusion, wondering what it is you’ve done. You’ll feel small. Pretty much like an utter fucking retard. Fortunately for me, I don’t think that way. Honestly, I shouldn’t have to divert someone in this manner for them NOT to use these tactics in the first place.
My new mantra: “You have no authority over me”.
Speaking of small, I advised said human as I redirected them to the core of what they reallywanted to address, I redirected them, then pulled them towards what they wanted to talk about. I advised them, that what was the point of them trying to make me feel small over these other things, vs. addressing the primary issue. At this point… I was shaking like a leaf. From anger, fear and definitely evil, it was quickly escalating into rage. There were 2 things I did not say which would have caused more of a problem. They were true. Doesn’t matter. It still hasn’t left my system really… Later on in the day, on something else, I put said humans in a room together to have them be accountable for something so they wouldn’t divert it onto me. “Again”. This has happened, that’s not happening again. I’m sorry… WHO wants to pay that much attention and be hypervigilant all the time?
They were each asked what they wanted, they responded, I clarified for all of them, in front of one another who was going to do what. Why are you still there? I asked myself again… because I work in Law. Because I’ve worked with some of the most disgusting, narcissistic bastards on the face of the planet. So, I’m well aware that I could quite literally leave (my resume is riddle with these humans by the way) and be in the middle of something much worse. This is… a drop in the bucket, believe it or not.
Years ago, one man I was working for… my god, he was as evil as, evil can be. His idea of how to treat the staff was to brow beat them, have power over them, more despicable manipulative tactics, you can ever imagine. I’m not a fan, we went head to head too. What was interesting, was in the beginning, the regression I went through… it was like I was a small child. That’s how frightening that fucking cunt was. I heard myself one day, trying to be nice and understand what had just happened (he was being a fuck) after that… it was “game on”.
Never be proud that you can deal with, and/or handle any muther fucker like that who behaves in these manners. Never assume you’re making head way when they are nice, never assume they’ll stop, they only pause to reload. I promise you that. YOU get the fuck out of there as soon as possible. You’ll feel better at leaves you system. Providing you don’t end up working with another fucking cunt bastard like the one’s I’ve met. When I say, “Never be proud” what I am saying is that it’s not worth your emotional, mental and physical health to take them on OR to know how. There is no glee, in the end, for you, feeling this badly.
May they all roast in hell.
Oh :) Yes… I have worked for those who were communicative, well versed, direct, etc., just not in the past… what? 6-10 years.