You feel the contradictions in your system on an intuitive level. They’re so slick, if you didn’t know, you’d be confused and worse, you’d feel responsible and/or guilty to boot. Again, I want to reiterate, if you are confused “that much” by a person’s behavior, they’re fucking with your head. When you ask questions, redirect them and still feel confused, it’s them. They’re doing something wrong, you simply haven’t caught on yet to what that is. So, you get to decide what you’re going to address, listen for the inconsistencies and call them out on it. The following situation the person said that when person one says something, they convince themselves of what they’re saying and believe it 100%. I agreed with them. I do wait, at times, for these quiet conversations that spring up, to blow up in my face at some point. The question is, would they. We’ll see.
I dare say, that I’ve gone too far …………… over here, with using humor and laughter as a coping mechanism. I did do it intentionally. I wanted to change how I reacted to certain things, so that I wouldn’t carry around the emotions and bad feelings others put out around me. One person thinks I’m nervous when I start laughing, they said so. I advised them, they were wrong. “Oooh no, I’m not nervous, don’t ever think that”.
I laugh (not at everything evil, just… some) at things that “I Know” are fucked up in the manner in which people are treating one another because the pattern by which they related to one another is SO neatly embedded between them, if I don’t laugh and distract myself, plus… it’s funny because… “Do you really think no one knows what you’re doing?” The following day, person two says to me, “Did you see how he tried to make it about me because he didn’t want to do this thing?”
aaaaand I burst out laughing. lolol They all know. I know, they all know. It’s interesting. The conversation went on from there, they advised that this person, can tell a lie and actually believe it. I laughed even harder and they’re right. It’s like that office manager I had a couple years ago, she couldn’t take responsibility for anything. Literally incapable, she would shove you off a platform, in from of a train if it meant she wouldn’t get into trouble. Until, she did it, to me. That sonic boom was heard up the block. :) Oopsie.
Fortunately because she was an ass prior, I had documentation which clearly showed it was indeed her who didn’t do what was required. Course, how I ended up going in at 6:30 a.m., to fix the fuck up… it was because my boss was a chicken shit, that’s why. She was sleeping with a man, well… in a relationship with a man who was a father figure to him, who was also friends with the other partner there. Back to this situation.
When a person says something without thinking, like the word “blame” after they have an established pattern of behaving, they’re speaking the truth, however even then, they’re not going to admit it. They will continue to shift what they say, until YOU are appeased. Why they feel I need to be appeased by any stretch of the imagination, is interesting. However they did it anyway.
Them: Do this one thing because then we’ll have someone to blame.
Me: Blame? They do an excellent job, there’s no reason to blame them for something like this.
Them: No, I mean if it’s screwed up, they’ll fix it.
Me: This person is not going to be blamed for something they didn’t do. I wouldn’t have brought them here otherwise and I’ll take them any where else I go as well because they’re that good.
Them: Reworded it two other times because at that juncture, all they got as a response was a… Hmmmm… uhhmmm hmmm sound.
Them: You see?
Me: Uhm hmmm.
Me: So, you’re saying to have him do this then, not the other guy.
Note: You must get the “them” person to say it out loud, so they hear themselves, so they’re literal because they DO remember and later when they shift and try to blame someone, you can remind them what they said. Usually, when I do it to them, they’ll walk away or shut the conversation down because they have no where else to go, in that conversation. Oops. This person once said to me, under their breath, “You have no idea how much control you have”. I could use this you know, I haven’t. Is it right to use what you know against a person who is unarmed by their own devices due to their life experiences? Yeah, but they’d do it to you. Doesn’t matter. That’s them, this is me.
Well. I don’t want control over another human being. I want them to be aware (they are) of their behavior and cut that shit out. Why are you still there then, if there’s all this stuff? Because another place won’t be any better, just different personalities, different methods of fukkery.
So, why redirect them? Because I want my environment to be better, because it’s healthier, because I can. Good? :) Because I have good intentions over all. Because what I know and implement will improve their relationships.
So :) since I’m so uber good at it, what is it, in myself that I hope to heal via this situation. Think about that for a moment. If you heal an old wound, that your inner child had and carried forward, does it change your past? It’s those things we carry with us in life, the patterns that repeat themselves for whatever reasons, for us to contend with, that cause us the most grief. They claim, we’re confronted by the same types of people until we resolve those issues. I don’t buy into that as a whole because a lot of people are like that, however if we’re “only” looking at it from a behavior standpoint because I’m highly sensitive to these things, I could agree. Because the idea of it all is to get to the point where I feel good about what I’m dealing with and it’s not affecting me. That it rolls off, so… really, going back to the laughter, I’m still affected because I’m using that to sidestep my temper at such fukkery. It also works to sooth people, calm them down and they’re more open to having a discussion, providing they are that type of person to begin with.
The things you know have to be used for good. One of the minds I’ve been talking to (a nice person, certainly) mentioned the other day that in psychology they take an oath, really to do NO HARM with what they know. Yet, I’ve seen some despicable shit, I’ve experienced some despicable shit and it was nothing I’d done. Literally. Your personal goal is to know yourselves well enough to not succumb to the bad behavior of others.
Meaning, behaviors rub off within certain environments. If you are around particular behaviorsfor any extended period of time, they will rub off on you. It’s a survival mechanism. Survival of the fittest the ones that don’t play get kicked out of the group. Don’t question why, just appease them and morph into the collective.
No. Because the moment you relax, at times, they view it as a weakness and will test you. I’m not a fan of that. Be a good human, don’t test me. I don’t like it. Neither will they. You can dig around in my cranium, discuss things, try and figure me out. Go on. :) I’ll watch you do it with quiet amusement and when, one should be so sure they can try a new tactic because they have this new found information and will use it, to get what they want? Do they even know what they want to begin with? Yes they do, they want what they want and when they get it, they’ll move on to some other “thing”. Because they are just that unhappy of a human being.
I’ll be over here smiling and redirecting them. Don’t worry though, they’ll come up with some new tactic.
Oh, why you so serious? Why you so suspicious? I’m not. I’m aware. I mean, can you imagine how your lives would be if you were aware of the things people do, and you are, maybe you simply haven’t realized it yet, nor have the tools to deal with it. Learn. More importantly, be aware of what you do.
I’ve consistently heard over the years, “It’s nothing you’ve done”.
They’ve all been right. It wasn’t anything I’d done. It was them. I’m good with that. They can go do whatever they’re doing, over there.
I’ll be over here laughing. Poor little hyena :) lol AND here’s one of my favorite jokes so you TOO can laugh. LOLOL
Be good to each other. If you can’t be good, STFU :)