I’ve been thinking… be afraid. :) Seriously though. If a person is school in psychology, literally goes to school, do they apply what they’ve learned literally to themselves? Do they recognise the need to focus on themselves with the things they’ve learned? One of the things that I found to be highly important, because we can all be biased when presented with someone else’s happenings in their lives, is to learn how to remove ourselves from what the individual is telling us from this “other” place.
I would assume, it’s taught to dissociate from the conversation, behave, not scold, not stick one’s foot up ones ass for things they’re doing, or not doing. You decide, doesn’t matter to me. So, in the travel’s around with my new brains :) (other people’s adorable craniums) a couple conversations meshed together in my mind.
1. I believe, w/o personal experience, students are indeed taught to argue. Especially in law school, I wonder how that serves them for the rest, of their lives. It’s my understanding there’s a class they give on how to communicate, by the way which teaches them how to be vague. Wherein a person is getting a response, however nothing was really said at all. It can be an invaluable tool OR it can fuck up your relationships. You decide how you’d like to use that skill. This hooman I know said “They’ve never done that to me” haaa!! I said, “Yes, you have.” And, Orly? What makes me so speshul? Interestingly enough, I believe them HOWEVER only in part.
So, the task of keeping someone else in line, so to speak, which is not my task by the way, but preserves MY sanity… i.e., don’t do diversionary, shift games, I’ll eat you and you won’t enjoy it. The carnage will not be worth it, I promise you that. And me’be they’ll learn a few things in the process. They won’t like it, no one likes to be confronted with what they really intend to say, particularly since they’re so good at being evasive “their whole life”.
2. What about psychology class? O.O Are the students taught to rationalize their emotions to retrain themselves not to feel. I want to know. I’m severely curious. I’d say, yes.. So, human beings are taught, in a class, how to manage their emotions, go out into the world, siphon through all these experiences, put them in a box … and then what happens? O.o Because, psychologists/counsellors/psychiatrists etc., are all what? Human beings. Human beings have emotions, so where would those emotions go if they’re redirecting themselves? Is it, okay, to not feel.
Oooh, I see, it’s better to think logically, rationally (I am a fan by the way) to not … what? Arms length? Dismissive of how others feel because they can logically, rationally and easily be… processed? For that matter … do they understand the ramifications of being, “just that good at what they do”.
We sense things in others, you’re not going to redirect that. It’s just there, it’s intuition. When I got interested in psychology and the lovely puzzle that is the mind through to the present, they told me to “think outside the box” except, I think that would be well served coming with a warning label. When you begin to see truths about the world and the things people do and/or do not do, when things start making blaring sense to you, despite the fact you don’t really want to see it? You’d better have done the work on yourself as well. Your actions, your thoughts, your words all have to be in alignment with who you are.
Someone the other day wanted something done. I responded to them. What this human does is… lolol (as if this would work on me, mistake) is they walked into the other room and muttered under their breath, some disparaging guilt (fuck you?lolol) comment, designed to make a person get up and do what was muttered about. That nonsense doesn’t work on me, I find it humorous and when I am in the mood (and I was) I call them out on it. :) OOPSIE
“I’m sorry, what did you say?” It makes them either back off or repeat themselves. :) Use that on people it works with you silly human. It is inhumane to manipulate another human being with emotional fukkery. I wonder, why they don’t feel bad. If I do something, like that, I feel… something later… it’s not hard to do. Truly. Aagh! BUT what if we can justify it? What if the person we’ve just done it to, asked for it due to their behavior? Can you do it then? You can, you’ll feel bad over time, remorse always follows if it’s truly not your nature. Some compartmentalize it because it is “their” means to an end. I understand. However, take your end over there. Emotional blackmail is dirty pool.
One can also completely ignore it as well. I do that too. Depends on the day. Don’t assume one is so familiar that they won’t keep trying to do it. If that’s who they are, they will at some point. Deflecting it is annoying however I’ve made it like a game, that’s much better. You’re not going to say to them, “oh haeee! Stop trying to manipulate me with emotional fukkery, it serves no purpose”. Because it DOES serve a purpose TO THEM because they get others to do what they want via these tactics. As long as they get their way, all is right with the world, in their head. To hell with the ramifications on others and their lives, their emotional well being, all of that. It means nothing, nothing at all as long as their needs are met.
Or you have the omissions. Those are by far my favorite. The omissions some leave out, also to serve themselves. So… in reality, is being taught about human emotion and how to process them effectively ALWAYS the best solution if one doesn’t realize how they keep others at arm length? One is safe anyway, you don’t feel, you can’t be hurt…
Emotional integrity is highly important in all your relationships. People/I sense such things it creates cracks in the very foundation of any and all of your relationships. Oh, what about me? I do the best I can to be straightforward. My dad’s friend at the car show I went to a couple years ago, come this summer matter of fact, his name is Charlie. Charlie told me at the time that when I was in my 20’s I was always genuine, people always knew where they stood with me. I was surprised he said that. Well, based on the conversation we were having, it did fit. I guess I was more surprised by him saying something that I feel is a compliment as to a trait from when I was in my 20’s. Someone else the other day, whose intentions I trust told me that my mind needs to be … reined in. They meant well but I wouldn’t like that. Too structured, I think had I been formally trained, vs. learning as I have, I may miss certain things.
I also don’t feel the need, in order to protect myself (one must, there are variables, not all people are kind) that I need to gouge into someone else. I’m highly inquisitive anyway, I ask questions and love talking to people. I absolutely love when something I’ve done makes them feel better, or smile, or laugh… :) or change. Change is good, the only reason we don’t like change is because it’s usually imposed on us by someone else. The other reasons we don’t like change is because we’re afraid of what other people will think or do and this too is valid. Who won’t like us anymore, who will do things to sabotage what you’re trying to do and some will because they liked the way things were. Poopy heads. Because the change you make, has them sitting back going … well I liked the way things were! What will happen to ME… I don’t know, lemme think… since a human being isn’t something one owns… you tell me?
Mutuality, reciprocity, personal integrity, all good things.
Fight the fear, know yourselves and be good to each other.
We’re all we’ve got.
Cept, that asshole over there. :)
^^ same same, processing emotions, cognitive bias/cognitive dissonance/cbt with a different twist the lists are endless but they all intermingle quite nicely. Rein my mind in, I don’t think so.