~ Mediums, Deals, Other things ~

My daughter put on this show last night with this woman from Long Island who is a medium. Yes, she talks to spirits. I like her :) It reminded me of something I said in a blog post a while ago where I said that one day I went into my kitchen and cried but it wasn’t my feelings. It was someone else. I even thought that was strange however they simply were not my emotions because I wasn’t that particularly sad over anything.

While watching this show, she was talking to someone and, she was crying and she said, you see this (pointing to her tears) these are not my tears, they’re his. I was like… O.O I know that feeling! I’ve done and had those sensations for years! Not to mention online as well, haven’t seen someone for a while, they start swirling around my mind and let me tell you something, in those cases? Because it’s all for different reasons POOF they show up. One does not poo poo this away, I have way too much experience with it for it not to be true. I’d give you details but, it would take too long. Let’s just say it happens a lot. It’s so cool! The other aspect of it where someone is thinking about me specifically and I sense them as well as their feelings/emotions is an entirely different ball of wax as well as the dreams I’ve had over the years.

I remember being in my crib, as a toddler (?) with this little stuffed dog that I loved. He was white and he had a little rattle in his right front paw and one night I was thinking about my great grandmother who was very old saying “don’t die”. Just out of where ever that came, I totally swear, you can’t make this shit up. Well, one can, I am not. She died. My friend who passed away from Google who I really, really liked? I can’t explain this either. I think about her and I tingle, literally tingle. My body begins to tingle and I feel good and it is the most amazing and odd thing. She’ll just pop into my head for no reason in particular and it’s like… you sense her and then I smile (like now) and say, Hi Honey, how are you? Then I tingle some more, it’s a pleasing sensation almost like being hugged. I can’t explain it, however it’s amazing to sense. She’s such a sweetheart. :)

In a thread with her significant other after she passed, I was at work and felt this way and I was talking to her loved one there and … lemme tell ya, I felt all tingly like that and I typed an entire paragraph of mush moo things as to how she felt about him which was so sweet I couldn’t believe it. Meaning, I’m more listen, stick my foot up your ass etc., person, Hallmark’s not really my thing and I typed this very, very heart felt thing. For me that was…I have no description. My kitchen… my kitchen is where I had this incredible vision, literally in my head about someone, I was looking out their eyes, into their bedroom at the calendar on the back of their door. It had been a year since we broke up and in his head he thought… “It’s her birthday today” (odd, guess he didn’t change his calendar… I digress) and then he walked into his kitchen. But that feeling was so strong and guess who called and was on my answering machine. This all happens the most when I’m attached to someone and/or I’m close to them or there’s some kind of connection there. Oh, my kitchen is usually where I feel things that much, there and in front of my bedroom mirror, like when I’m getting ready in the morning.

It’s also interesting to me that said human over there, yes … you, you know who you are, has me in this little box in their head and I don’t know why they think of me now and then. Me’be it’s because I think of them, however when they pop into my head arbitrarily and not connected to anything I’m doing like a conversation or something I’m reading that triggers and old memory from a conversation, that’s them. Sorry, that’s you. The time I wrote about how bad I felt a few weeks ago I believe it was, that wasn’t entirely all about me either. Moving on.

The human I work with gave me options the other day as to a bonus. :) He was making a deal with me. Oooh teh lerv teh deals! Deals are that thing where a person gives YOU the choice as to how your bonus will be delivered and it’s their way, or their way. I was given two choices literally to chose from and while it was for me, it served them. I gave them choices three and four for good measure and they attempted to convince me otherwise. Briefly however they did try which makes no sense, just give it to me, why barter? Why make this proposition/deal with me vs. doing what’s gone on in any firm I’ve worked at for 20 years? Give me the check then. :) DUGH

Deals one has to be careful of because they serve them and them a good percentage of the time. The person who is on the receiving end of said proposition/deal assumes they have to chose from A and B however that’s not true is it. Think about it… unless you are happy with what the proposition is, why would you agree to something like that due to them giving you what THEY want vs. truly thinking of YOU and something that is mutually serving? Or … at minimum not so self serving so they’re getting what they want and all the while look like they were offering you this great amazing thing! OOooh aaaagh… people miss this all the time. I learn my life lessons well, it just shouldn’t have been at the hands of someone I trusted.

For a couple days now, I’ve been feeling off… I’m stressed and worried about money of course, however it’s not completely about me. So last night I put up a post and asked whose having a bad whatever because “empath” Apparently, many people aren’t feeling so well. That’s a shame, however it was nice that people chimed in on that post. :) I was a little uncomfortable due to the huge swirl of emotion however that wasn’t my feelings… I still don’t know who it was or who it is exactly, it will reveal itself in time and then, in those times, you just know. Because my mind will pick it up and bring me back to the initial feeling and I just know. It’s interesting, it’s exhausting.

As for work, AB doesn’t mind my reading him and partially admits to things almost in whole as to what I see. They tend to project everything they are onto me, I’ve had to correct them numerous times. I just caught myself doing it last night, google projection and psychology, you’ll see. You put your shit onto someone else, it’s not really tranferance, it’s you/me/someone putting who they are onto someone else assuming that everyone must think like THEM and in reality they are assuming who I am based on how they think. This is never good and I have corrected them repeatedly by flipping it back onto them. You see? :) It pays to be self aware because you know when it’s them. In other news they were doing something the other day and we were laughing, yes, yes… a bit better, every fight we’ve had there has been change. Subtle however it’s there.

AB be all like, you’re controlling, “no, that’s you” … AB be like, oh you want to do things your own way, “No, that’s you”. There’s a fine line of merit as to the doing things my way because it’s more organized however that’s it. No more no less. You need to be or you/they will cause me stress based on what’s going on, I don’t need any of that. THANX :)

Now it’s coming down to money issues. The new girl, she’s just like afraid period. She put words in my mouth the other day, she was close however I didn’t say that and we’re not going through that again with people talking shit and/or putting words in my mouth. He was like, Oooh Mystery’s very literal about things… Oh I was fumming and from behind the wall of this partition my desk has I shook my finger at him like… OH really? Oh really… mind you, he was the one who was complaining about said person and all the while I was sticking up for them, with good cause. I thought she’d spoken to him and she hadn’t. Long story. I meant to say how AB did something the other day and I looked at him like “what are you doing?!” lolol He looked like a kid who got into trouble … :) LOL I think, I’m good for them. I also think that, while the chest pains are absolutely no good when a situation dictates an explosion which is uncalled for… what I do have to respect is their willingness to be open about what I see, that comes as a surprise. See, they like me, more importantly, in spite of them not being very trustful (because of the way they think mind you and the things they’ve gone through) this is a good thing.

A while ago I’d written something about how I don’t believe they are an evil person. It’s ‘those fucking triggers they have in there and the twisted way they think sometimes. I think twisted too sometimes, I get it however… okay FINE everyone doesn’t think like me and redirect themselves and while I haven’t perfected that 100% yet, those things have nothing to do with me. :)

I really have come to love that small sentence. :) “It has nothing to do with me” I do like when people take personal responsibility for their stuff, that’s always cool. We have to be careful just how much shit we’re accepting during those times. Lashing out irrationally at me, for your shit, is never a good idea.

I was thinking about what kind of stuff they put up from me the other day. O.o I curse at my desk when I’m angry. lolol That’s rubbed off on them, now they do it when they vent too but it’s OVER THERE at something not at me. :) Can you change someone else’s behavior? Yes. However it takes time and they have to want to change and you can do this by directly redirecting them and using all those skills and those fights you’ll have as long as you’re fighting fair mind you… otherwise you’re bashing each other and no one is heard. IMHO it’s way less than I’ve put up with from them. Think of bad behaviors and implanted things that trigger a person like an addiction that people can and do fall back into with the appropriate trigger. Then they get better and start over. It’s the same difference to me now that I’m thinking about it, it’s a damned good analogy.

Well this is the longest post I’ve written in a while. As for you … well, what do you want? How may I help you. I guess that’ll come out over time, if ever and time will tell.

Be good to each other, where ever you are. :)

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