Soooo and THEN … I am so proud of the human I spoke to the other day, who I was gonna speak to anyway, someone asked me to and I did, however I didn’t do it for the person who asked me to I did it for me and them and the kids. Primarily the kids … well it’s so intermingled at this point in my mind that it seems to be one of those win/win things.
I’ve gone over to the Betty White/House aspect of my personality. S/he’s fucking hilarious, however some won’t think so. No, not really. It’s not cruel, it’s direct, kinda funny, pointed and done with good intent and humor and some sarcasm. The good intent is very important because that yucky stuff from the other day? Oh, no, that’s not me. That was horrible, I felt horrible. Yuck, just gross. That’s not me, that’s not who I am nor who I want to turn into. So, we’re not doing THAT again. Although, in taking a bit extra care with dolling up a bit, that’s cool however I’m doing that for myself because I feel all purdy and shit.
Today when said human was about to burst, AB, I stood up, eye level … with the droll expression on my face like, “you’re not really going to burst your fucking gord are you?” It is a dead ass stare, combined with feigned indifference however on the inside, oh man. smh… my heart was so constricted. It’s that fright or flight shit. Anyway… do you know what they did? O.O
There have been ongoing positive changes, that’s true. HOWEVER they made a comment which was aggressive, not at me and then … they went and cooled off. GASP?!? STFU!!! I have to say, I was impressed by that and YOU have to keep your ass in check. Meaning, if someone begins to show the signs of change, in this manner and there have been some… no really, there has been, fight after fight (there have been many) change has occurred in the positive sense. YOU do not get to fuck off and then be an asshole. Although that’s a natural shift in one’s position.
Lemme explain fo’you. You now feel safer, they’re not being “that way” anymore or at minimum making a visible attempt to change. It’s a natural thing that I’ve seen over the years for those who got the change they’ve wanted to get a little cocky and brow beat the person who IS changing versus … you know, accepting it. I realize it’s difficult not to perhaps be a bit cocky however… that’s not really going to be helpful in the long term because why should they change if you’re going to remind them and be an asshole about it? Okay? Okay.
I was impressed. I was. They made a concerted effort to not do what they would normally do. That deserves a cookie. :) In the nice way, where you appreciate how difficult it must be for this person to make this effort. A’m not saying that I believe it will stop completely, however that’s a really cool thing. It really was…
I also want to include in here and for future reference … well… I hate the things that I see people do, however I have no malice in the sense where I want to hurt them. I simply don’t want them to hurt me and this blog is all about my processing things, to make sense out of the shit we/I/you deal with on a daily basis from others and hopefully how to make things better, not just for you… although ultimately that’s what we all want, but for everyone. Okay?
Some, you cannot reach. Me’be I’m wrong… Me’be I’m not. We’ll see. Okay? Okay.
SO!! WAIT! BACK TO THE PERSON WHO I SPOKE TO THE OTHER DAY! OMG!!! I haz such prowdz!!!
They hadda do something today and everyone was in the room and then they were all assertive and setting boundaries and doing all kind of good shit and then, they’d glance at me and I’d be all grinning and happeh (for them, not me, I was a facilitator THEY did that… you see?)
But I gotta tell ya… that was fucking cool. I was so fucking happy about it. Handsome little critter too. I noticed that today, interestingly enough, I hadn’t really noticed before. Oh yeaaaah… it’s that assertiveness I like so much. Oh. Yeah, the direct, assertive, non-assholic assertiveness that’s a very good thing coming from a man. Ooooh I C :)
I know a lot of men like that actually and they’re really cool to talk to. I mean, it’s a pleasure to have conversations with people and go back and forth. You don’t have to fight with most people to be seen or heard or come to common ground.
Maybe that’s why it’s so confusing to me that so many, not all, do that shit. For what? I know… they haven’t learned that life lesson yet as to how that can work out so well for them in the end.
Aaah, life lessons. Fuck you life lessons.
Oh and where ever you are, be good to each other. :)
FUCKING A’ MAN! I WAS SO PROUD !!! OH BEAMING FROM EAR TO FUCKING EAR! YUSH!!!
FUCK YOU! FUCK THAT! GOOD JOB! YES! HA! Oh yeaaaaa… :) I absolutely love seeing people morph. It’s the coolest fucking thing on earth. :)