Yesterday, emotionally, I was a tightly balled up knot of anxiety, apprehension, nervous… stuffs. Le’Yuck. Other people’s energy and emotions are difficult not to absorb, humans are aware of this, however it seems to me they blame themselves for “their” reaction when, while I respect the “idea” of it, it’s not 100% true. Other people affect us based on how they literally feel emotion wise. We sense this off of other human beings. I always have … you do too if you think about it. Go on… think about it. Whilst you’re all becoming enlightened and shit …
Due to anticipating explosions yesterday, when none were had, my system was braced for it. Nothing happened. Relief floods your system, could take a day or so, depends on the severity, how often it happens overall, etc., I always say 3/5 days to process, unless it’s a severe curve of “knowing” what could happen and then it doesn’t. This is reason 502 why I wouldn’t want people to be on mind altering medication. Because external forces (barring mental illness, of course… you know) trigger all this shit in my/your system and the body is truly a wizard, it knows and it will process this shit like nobody’s business. In any event, emotional triggers are a bitch.
Yesterday me and Benny were giggling like little kids about AB. Remember that regression I talk about where adults go to this point and time as to how they react? We were like a couple teenagers giggling fucks (literally) and going back and forth about things and then laughing like hyenas over it. Much like the other day with this other fella. haahahaha! I never EVER said I did not regress to a particular age or emotional reaction based on whatever circumstance, I said it happens and it’s interesting to watch. Oh and… you know what? They hugged after their talk, so you know. See? There’s those things that are not indicative of a person being truly evil. I just can’t stand “that” behavior. It kills my system. Truly… I mean… fuuukkEverybody does it. Me’be they’re not aware of it. S’like the old office (self proclaimed) manager I had. She could NOT (literally) get into trouble. To avoid whatever happened to her in the past and to get her way or what she wanted, she literally turned into this bratty 4 year old. Not to mention she would throw YOU under a bus in that process if she could get away with it. And try she did, erry tiem. They have all this inner child work we are supposed to do, I’ve done a great deal of it and to me, it’s like we’re still protecting the very small being inside. We do this with boundaries, anger, self protective mechanisms, coping skills all this shit and the reality to me is while “being a child” is not the idea, combined is when you/me feel the best.
Today, I’m all manic and giddy and shit. I was last night too. Giggling like an emotionally relieved butt head and the more absurd the shit you see, that one would say “that’s not funny” the funnier it is. LOL The more people I can make laugh and visa versa, the better. The more laughter the more laugh medicashun, the better we all feel. ME! The better I FEEL and I like dragging other people with me, it’s good medicashun. Natural, healthy, wonderful stress relieving medicashun. Why u no laugh like hyena? O.O
You see what I’m saying here about emotions? No? STAHP. Why you has cognitive dissonance? Youuuu keep thinking about it, you’ll get there. When you do, try not to kill anyone once you’ve realized it really was NOTHING you’ve done. Unless YOU are the asshole, then all bets are off you little thundercunt. :) Flutters eyelashes.
Speaking of other emotions, because I can. Anger. Oh I was thinking about the other post I made wherein I mentioned “I’m going to tell on you to… ” this other person and get you into trouble. I realize humans get into trouble for all kinds of reasons and fear of someone being angry at us is an excellent tool to us and to me it goes to the regression I keep talking about. Kindly whine the following out loud…
“Aaaaaaaaaaa’m telling MO’MMY what YOU did’ed”!
STFU (Okay, I know. We need to tell on bad people. I understand. NOT my POINT)
Then, I thought… as all these things collided in my mind. I could tell this person’s mother on them. Haahahaha <—- that's the child like reaction/glee wherein one regresses to this silly fuck stage in their head. You know, comparable to popping that mean kids balloon? Yeah. That.
I do know said person's Mommy, they like me. :) Not over their child, certainly not however… children must behave right? O.O OH COME ON! That's funneh! Nooo, I'm not … I could do it. Sigh. Soooo immature. Hey, said person told ME they were telling their mother once and I laughed, I was like… that's not my mother. Quite frankly in this regard? My parents (rest their souls) are dead, your parent? Really…. I didn't give mine that kind of leeway, yours is NOT going to be any different then I treated my own. i.e., YOU cannot do certain things, they will be addressed. And they were, this is no lie.
OH! AND I have my new to me vehicle and last night, there was a cop behind me, it was dark and I didn’t realize they were actually an ossifer until their lights went on. They had one of those uber cool charger cop cars. So, they were behind me a couple miles and then all of a sudden their lights went on and GUESS WHAT! O.O !!!! With my old car, I figured I was fucked, the poor thing was such a fucking mess. HOWEVER MY NEW BABY IS ALL NICE N’SHIT!
I didn’t even flinch. No fear, no anxiety, no thinking I was getting another ticket for not passing inspection ($130.00 a pop thank you very fucking much) it was a mess. No reaction emotionally AT ALL! I simply moved over. Thaaat’s right, I’m a bad ass naow… Cuz ma’vehicle is finally good. And all the way own the road I was smiling to myself as I realized that’s a stressor that’s gone now. AIN’T THAT NOICE!
By the way, all this glee has anxiety under it. It hasn’t gone away, I simply feel better today on the surface in a gleeful manic manner based on yesterday’s happenings and/or lack thereof. For it to truly go away, I don’t think it will completely however tolerable I would be cool with… for it to truly go away, I would have to live on a mountain, in a cool cabin with my dogs and a horse. :) AND INTERNET! MUST HAVE INTERNET…
Okay, I’m done. Have a good day, where ever you are. Be good to each other.
Unless they’re an asshole. Then GIT’EM! :) Oh and because it’s funneh…