Hadda climb in the window at work today. That was uhm, interesting. Took me a while to get in the house however… WTF? What was I thinking? I’m also out of shape, A’m just saying. I knew that, however the acrobatics required to climb up 10/12 feet, into a narrow window, to enter a building where I ended up with my feet (hahahaha) on the window sill, stomach down on the floor like… WTF did I just do here? Geeezus.
So I lost an hour. They’re away, so that’s cool. New girl is cool too, he gave her a task that would take her all morning and it worked because he had nothing else for her to do. You see? Such wizardry. The deal today was as follows, he would send a tape OR we could do all the filing. It was my choice. (Ha ha) I said it doesn’t matter to me whether you send a tape or not, either way I have things to do, the choice is yours. I don’t really care either way. The manner in which it was said was as if a tape would be … like.. work. But, it’s always work so this is no bartering chip. It also alleviates his having to work as well while he’s away. HELLO. Dugh.
Yesterday all this lack of integrity shit caught up with me, among other things and it collided to the extent where it felt like I took a hard left,skidded and while I was righting the wheel to straighten out, I slammed through a concrete wall, proceeded through a mountain and once I was out the other side (!) went flying through the air into a huge fucking lake where I floated quietly in disbelief.
I got advise. It was good. Unfortunately this huge fucking shift took place and I hated them. It felt like, something important snapped as to my perspective of said human. I didn’t even go on G+ that much last night either. While I was seething away, to my little self like what the hell? It has to be the fact that it was some of the most hypocritical advise ever. Me’be they need to go fuck themselves. I have considered telling them flat out but I think they already know. It’s happened now, with two people I know. Something inside one’s self snaps and indifference takes over and you don’t want to have a discussion and you don’t wanna hear that shit they’ll spew out in their feeble attempts to justify anything at all. It’s like, it would be an insult to everyone’s intelligence to even listen to it and it’s not like it would resolve anything. It is what it is.
It’s not like they have the wherewithall to be that honest anyway. It’s not within their grasp, they simply cannot do it. Yes, yes… already did what I needed to, I have no problem looking in the mirror.
It’s like it hits you and you look and you say, “I don’t like you and I don’t like who you are”
Anyway at work I’m enmeshed in all kinds of family things so I was working on something and speaking to one of them and it’s something they need done, that’s fine. I was pissed though because it was up to me to get this important thing done and my hands are tied based on the mess someone else made of it. Naturally I’m suspicious because they handled the whole thing poorly from the beginning. Some shit you can’t manipulate … Oh fuck… should I rephrase this shit? no, they shouldn’t have done what they did and I’m pissed because one person’s fuck up, is affecting others. So I’m trying to remedy it and then I did some research as to said human and found more dirt and added it to the work, with permission, not my file.
Prior to that this is the same person who I saw an opportunity to offer sage advise to and everyone noticed that they’ve shifted a bit (shit) and they’ve directly asked me if I would talk to them if the opportunity presented itself again. I already explained this to all parties so that they got “exactly what I said” directly from my mouth. Such things can be twisted, I’m aware of it, so I addressed all of the above. I couldn’t help it because the circumstances are such that they affect children and I can’t sit, watch and do nothing. That’s not me. If I can make a difference in someone’s life based on something I say, even if perhaps they’ll be upset at the time, I do it.
Anyway they were like, well.. could you speak to said person when you can? I said yes. See, the things is if parents yell at their (adult) children the child fights the parent (in some, not all cases) I’ve over heard these fights and while the intentions are good, the delivery sucks. They’re not treating him like a man, which he is. So, an unbiased human (like me) looking in, having all this information is a tool :) At least said human was honest about it, they asked if I would and I agreed. I don’t really mind as long as things are honest. Be honest, I’ll help if I can, I have all this fucking knowledge. Right? It’s my pleasure. Particularly for the kids sakes. They’re adorable.
So, moving on we have … uhm… lolol OH! One of the people I work with’s partner called today and I was like… OHAAAIIII!!! they laughed instantly, it was soooo cool! They went on to say that they told said human I work for that I was the best he’s every had. Oooh la la :) I was like, you really said that? Yes. Well, thank you I appreciate that very much. I said well, he’s killed the rest of them and then we laughed like hyena’s even more. This is bad. Why? WELL because … sigh… I like all these other dummy’s too. I would stay if AB would stop … oh yeah, being who they are. Right. I’m not blind, there have been shifts and changes by degrees since I started and they are mostly positive.
I don’t feel bad about what I can’t stand which is the verbal vomit when they’re off their rocker for whatever the fuck reason. No. Can you believe I climbed in teh fucking window today? I’m lying there on the floor like… ugh. I gotta get back into working out, there’s no question in my mind. I”m way out of shape, more than I thought.
I think the explosions from said human will not cease and that will be the death of the job there. I understand all of the variables, I’ve talked about it before at length, those are all in draft form and the boundaries I’ve set are incredible and they’re very good. GO ME! The 3/5 day emotional processing came full circle yesterday when I snapped.
That and the bullshit with saying I have to do things my way and how I don’t listen. Really? fuck you. I listen, you’re the forgetful one and when they can’t remember or whatever happens they’re all fucking accusatory. In other news I’ve already started saying I’m going to miss the animals, I feel kinda cold inside about it all. What’s more interesting is this explosive human is fond of me. No, they are. I know that. Which is irrelevant as to their explosive behaviors, because that’s not enough for me to stay.
The new girl? She’s very nice. :) Very nice and uhm… that’s refreshing. I really like her. I’ve given her tips she’ll prolly follow as to how to deal with everyone involved. What? Hey, what can I say… if she does what I have suggested to her, it’s going to be better for her in the long term. She’s smart and wants to learn and that’s a toll on my time but it’s not like I haven’t trained anyone before and I’m a good teacher. I am. It’s funny, I’m still bitching about my jobs. lolol as much as some things change, they stay the same. Go figure.
OH! BUT I hadda great conversation with a mediator today, she was talking about being out of law school and how the narcissistic cunt/douche attorney’s treated her and how they spoke to her. Same shit I deal with all the time. I know what she’s talking about to the letter. Oh we laughed and kabitzed and … ya know, totally identified with one another. LOL ! :)
You know, it’s hard to pay attention to every little thing and character trait. It’s why people get away with some of the things they do. People know what they do… if they’re willing to admit it to themselves.
Humans. Can’t live with them. Can’t live without them.