Feel free to skip on by, I’ll be cycling this work stuff until I find a new job, find what works or both. I’ve always said there’s good manipulation. The list I made a few posts back as to things I would find go against the grain of what I am can be modified to something I can live with. Including but not limited to direct, spot on sarcasm which puts said human in their place. I do this with the full knowledge that “I shouldn’t have to” … however for the time being, I’m not sure what’s worse, finding what works or that I have to do it. If what works makes it better, I still couldn’t relax because one does not know what sets him off or why he does what he does. That’s his problem, not mine (so to speak).
Today I walk in, they weren’t supposed to be there. They were. So they started right in yelling. WTF? How I should have TOLD them that there was this CASE ON And all this other bullshit. I check, it’s in his folder he was home, it’s his job to check, I put it there. No really, it was his job. He was told. So, this explosion was 20 minutes. It was remedied.
Today, I wore heels. Puts me eye level. Shoulders back, dead disinterested stare into his eyes, I was like “you better stop” and I pointed my finger at him with GREAT intent. <— I realize that sounds really ridiculous, however picture it if you will. Later on in the day, it came up again (shocking) and he goes on to say how … lol Ready? "When I got home checking the mail instead of spending time with my wife…" He was cut off by the following comment: "Diversionary sarcasm always work for you? or…" He said something, I ignored him. Matter of fact I ignored him all day other than to address particular things. Usually he buys breakfast, I bought my own. When he asked I said no thank you, I've already eaten. Don't go there, the trade off for buying lunch is that we sit at our desks literally for 8 hours straight because we don't take a lunch. How thoughtful. I mean one gets up to make copies and stuff, bathroom, smoke…
So… at one point, during my "you mean nothing to me" behavior and I'll only speak to you with great disinterest polite behavior, he said something like, "You have no idea the control you have"… I WISH I could remember what it came from however that phrase stuck in my head. As you can see.
I think he felt guilt. Good. I have no problem with that and while I am not a fan of emotional blackmail I am a fan of doing something that will stop someone's bad behavior. I'm nice. You will be nice. Or we will no longer be. It's that simple. I mean as articulate as I am, this is not happening. I'm not having this. I didn't like saying I was frightened either. I am sometimes, however no one has that right either.
If I'm going to get fired, I'm going to say more than I please. The bad part is that at some point, I want to fucking relax. It feels bad to be cold like that. Who wants to feel like that? It's not me.
The post about psychopaths reminded me about the "oops" factor post I made with the manner in which we view things or are trying to when we think we're dealing with a particular type of person. Why you haz cognitive dissonance? How cool I found that? A'm just saying I keep finding what I need. What I want to find is what turns off my reaction for good. I'm not sure I believe that's 100% possible however I do know that anyone else wouldn't have this type of leeway in this manner.
OH! When I walked in and he was an utter asshole, the contractor who is there all the time overheard him and when he left to pick up lunch he was like… I can't believe he just did that to you. Then he did it to the contractor and the contractor went back there and was all like he's not speaking to me like that and it's his turn. He went back there and was like, you gotta move the cars, the response was no I'm in the middle of things and then the contractor was like, "no you're moving those fucking cars now, I have work to do"… that worked by the way in tempering said human of course, however later he went back to speak to him and he was diverted. AB spun him around in a circle. I was like… dayum and he was doing so well initially. (the contractor)
The new girl is afraid already to ask him a question, however she gives it back to him. He hasn't gone full bore on her yet either, but she goes right back at him. That's good. :) Course, me being me, I watch should he cross the line. I've explained to the new girl how he is and the things she can do further how to handle others who are around. It works, they're called boundaries. She's smart and she's very nice. She also told me she had a headache from the anxiety of him yelling. So, she's … well … we all are sensitive and different levels of tolerance.
The mind is an incredible thing isn't it? I'm still proud of myself though. Because the myriad of life experiences I've had? I could be an entirely different person and I like me. I can look in the mirror on the morning and while I do see a tired human more often times than not, I'm proud of myself for not turning into someone I'm not. And… you can't make me. The things I'm doing now? I can live with, it's not devious in any way and he brought it on himself. You'd think I want him to suffer but that's not true either. I want him to stop, if he's not capable for the duration of my time there, well… all hell has broken loose in my life before based on shit like this. And guess what? :)
It's nothing I've done. I just hate the surprise of it. You know when they first do it and you're all like a deer in headlights like WTF just happened here? In order to not be surprised, it seems like I would have to be guarded all the time and who wants to walk around like that? It's not me. I'm aware, I take my time cultivating relationships, moreso now since the catfish thing however I have met some very lovely people who are … we laugh and respect one another and our differences. Just like on here, ya know? Just a different forum.
Rumpy wished me peace today. :) Thank you Rumpy. :) I appreciate that. I've always said I want to be calm. The world is not full of calm people. I know so many people who have given me the same suggestions and thoughts and… see, I truly appreciate it however my experiences lend themselves in a direction where … prolly based on my career. I mean, some shit I totally could ignore. As I type this I just thought of 6/7 attorney's who behaved like this guy.
I did not put this shit in my own system. This started 40+ years ago. ha… and it was nothing I'd done. That's starting to irritate me.