~ Oops… slight miscalculation ~ Make Peace, not war

Well… I made a slight miscalculation as to the sloughing off of the emotions from this stuff. In this particular instance, once I realized exactly who and what I was dealing with, which is a frightened little boy with some kind of complex and then reviewed certain things… all the times that they’ve done or said anything whatsoever which furrowed by my brow came flooding to the surface. Thaaat wasn’t pretty at ALL. I see said the blind man.

I am afraid of him due to the amount of rageous energy that comes out of him when he gets like that, if I were on the street or some place else, I would handle him in a manner conducive to that particular situation. To suppress the normal reaction to someone like him, regardless of if I think I could diffuse it under and circumstance is horrid. I am in awe at the VOLUMINOUS amount of excuses that people they have known for a substantial amount of time, make for this behavior. It’s not uncommon for people to do this, I understand, they don’t LIVE with him. So it’s not in their system however it’s all in turn and they all know how he is. The rage that flies out of him when whatever “that thing is” that hits him is incredible. It’s been my experience that people like him, resort to physical violence after a while. It’s the next logical step.

The 5k would be a nice thing in the bank, because it would be comparable to living at home, it would give me the freedom to do exactly what I wanted, in the moment I wanted to at said person. I’m not in that position am I. Nope. I even thought about how to get a loan after saying this initially so that I would be able to rip them off and shove them up his fucking nose.

What gets me is how rampant in firms this is. My resume is full of them, which makes me look bad because I leave places due to their behavior with the “appropriate excuse” and I look like I have no longevity? But… they’re fucking cunts? See… this is what irritates me about the whole thing. I applied for an appraisal job… for when things get broken etc., but to get out of this field after all this time and I’ve tried, is really difficult.

I’m going back and forth from here to my playground (google) and a very nice person I know, ended up in a disagreement with someone who had a knee jerk reaction to a joke. It was a very funny joke LOLOL I had to find the post to see what had happened because I like to understand what DID happen between two people, unless I have all of the information, it’s important to see if something can be remedied and those involved perhaps can make peace. I may have accomplished that in this situation, which I would like. Very much. The man the woman was upset with is a nice person and she’s a nice person with strong views and emotional triggers based on a joke that was put up. She did start it. :) I advised her of that in a nice way and she acknowledged it and I do hope peace and a remedy can be made. She drew first blood though based on her reaction to the joke… I learned all of this from everything I have ever read and learned and I would prolly be a pretty good negotiator if I had all the information, like I do in this situation to help people make peace.

I understand why people are and get the way they do, too voluminous to get into right now, however I do understand and if you can find that common ground between them and get pride and everyone’s life experience out of the way, this can be done. I like that. I am a peacemaker, I’m not a fighter … I’m really not. Life put me in positions which were literally unavoidable but peace and working shit out is my thing. It’s always been that way for me.

I hate seeing people fight, funny as I mentioned trolling is and the pure poetry that comes out of people’s mouths in such things, not “literal” trolling more the arguments that go on between people where they’re beliefs are so different and the insults begin. There’s nothing rational in those.

I had one friend of mine argue with another one time and my eyes welled up with tears because I liked both of these people, and truthfully work and my daughter’s surgery and my stress was also in there and I could not stand them going at each other. It hurt me, greatly. I realize we all have different beliefs… I’m simply so fucking tired of seeing human beings hurt one another, despite the very real knowledge that I have as to the why of it all. It’s all over… brb

Awwwww… I hadda go back and finish what I started insofar as trying to sooth this disagreement and GUESS WHAT! I haz big tearz in my eyes of happy. It’s true… I’m so fucking happy right now that everyone made up and shit, it’s not even a little funny.

I’m a perverted, off colored, funny, peacemaker. :) Among other things. lolol

GROUP HUG! Okay then, now get off me :) OH and guess what? No one was RIGHT you know in that fucky way, it was literally resolved. I helped do that you know.

in part the reason I want to cry is because I have to look for another job because I’ve tried all of these things on my human there at work and… it’s just not going to happen. KNOW who you are talking to in life. Some will respond, some will not.

I haz to go naow, make celebration with nice humans :) I am so fucking happy right now?! sniff… aaahaha! I’m a fucking sappy asshat ain’t I? :)

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