“Teh” is a word that sounds as it looks. Just a play on the word. :)
Anyway, today a person called, they’re a … O.O PSYCHOLOGIST~! Baaahahahaaa! More importantly, they are, ready? The families psychologist. Oh. My. Fucking. Gawd. Do you think it would be wrong to suggest they change said person’s medication? O.O Oh come ON NOW that’s fucking hilarious! Because the boy’s not taking SOMETHING he’s been prescribed. Seriously.
Today, they’d tried to call, the service is a mess due to their fuck up and we’re all paying for it because, “HUMAN” is perfect because they called x number of times and it behooved them to show me their phone with the numerous calls. I simply said, “Did you know we had no dial tone earlier and the phones weren’t working?” Insert innocent as fuck expression HERE.
The tactic of choice for good, for now, is ignoring the implied fuck nuttery and saying something else entirely that’s related to the topic at hand. You HAVE to do this with this person. My nice, she really is very nice, co-worker is in fact impacted in her system. I advised her today to KNOW that whatever he does, EVER … has nothing to do with her. I said it like 3/4 times too. She was uncomfortable yesterday and it was due to his anger. Fuck him. Really? Awww… why you no recognize that nice protective trigger in there? She’s smart, she’s down to earth and that’s really cool.
So, going back to said counselor. Haahaha! I am on a huge kick in my mind about the life coaching and we had a chat and some how we got on the topic of writing a book. I said I’d like to and why, I’m not sure I even want to… He said it was procrastination (no, that’s you honey) He’s been doing it for 45 years, etc., etc., Oooh that’s nice, we carry on and he said he’d write a book with me. O.O Beeecause that would help HIM to move forward. Me’be that’d be a win/win thing. I like the other guy I met better. I do realize the other guy would have a different focus if I said I wanted to talk to him outside of work, it’s a shift one would make… I feel that he wouldn’t shift too much though. I want what I want, if I were to do that. All I want is to have back and forth conversation and not be told how I feel.
So this guy says to me that we don’t know ourselves, more others. I was in a mood, I wasn’t an asshole, certainly not, he’s a nice person and I said, no… I’m pretty familiar with myself. I mean I’m not saying that I don’t discover things along the way, of course not. However, for now, I can say I see where I’m at. I advised him that it’s that piece of paper, that degree. I’ve gone over this, repeatedly. I discount it all the time. In any event, we talked about co-authoring a book and I’d be right up front there. Wait. You’re dealing with my boss for plah years and he’s still the way he is? What do you see my love?
I realize when the focus is on a person, etc., it’s up to that individual to make changes however the person you/one would see in sessions or over time… if he’s part of the family etc., I know he treats one other person (prescription wise I guess, I’ve seen it) but … Me’be I could learn how to not absorb this stuff. No, not to stay, I can’t much longer today I was a disaster, it wasn’t even funny. You couldn’t see it but I was so anxious that it was difficult to even think because ass boy has been on a roll for a couple of days. I do not fucking even care why.
Stahp. I realize that they show him what they want to and quite honestly I shouldn’t speculate this much. However I found it entertaining at minimum.
Humor over. I’m fucking exhausted. The thing is we miss these things initially (not the yelling however…) because we’re going through other things, we have all this shit going on and to pay this much attention to one human being is … investing quite a bit of energy, emotionally, mentally and physically it can be exhausting. It’s not like it’s not all interconnected.
Suppressing the very thing someone literally deserves sits in your system. It’s not fucking healthy because it’s been one fucknut after the other in the past number of years. How much can I take?
Anger, I can take. Yelling, I can take. Give it back, no harm, no foul… we go on. I expect to have disagreements in varying degrees with people. HOWEVER one does not assume I am their emotional punching bag, I … seriously? When I lose it? He’ll deserve it and I will hopefully on unemployment.
That break I had was not what I needed. I remember when I was younger, I could just kick the fuck back, go out, drink, laugh, be free and just fucking cut loose. That’s missing now. It’s what I used to do, I haven’t been able to do that for a very long time. The breaks I had were not what I needed. Me’be I should give soothing guy a call, see what his area of expertise is. Nothing would please me more than just going back and forth with someone who is seasoned. I’m on the verge of tears at least once every 7 days. It’s because of all this shit.
I think if it were not for the laughter and the people on G+ where I’m laughing and going around playing with people, I would be way buried in my head and not in a good way. We need emotional support in life. I miss the young lady who passed. She comes to mind often at least once a week. Prolly because a new person took over her page and I’ve not accepted that transition. It was for a good reason but… that was her page? And uh… it reminds me of her so, it comes up.
They claim fuckpaddles come into your life for a reason so you can learn blaaaah fuck you. Learn what? How fucking jackassfucktarded some people can be? What lovely cunts they are with no regard for others? What so I can loose it and pummel someone? I’m a little too fucking old for that. There’s no rationalization for this shit. It is, what it is.
What I was going to say was that the fighting and anger is no problem. It’s that manipulative shit and the fact that you can never relax around cunts like this. you can’t, they’ll see it, they change, it’s like… they’re fucked up. And then I have no idea how any human being does not walk away from something that feels that bad in their soul. In their very fucking being. It will suck the life out of you. And I know what I’m dealing with.
Mind you. still know lots of nice people. Oh counselor fella today mentioned something about choising a particular field in psychology, I don’t remember what he said. He mentions that one should know themselves well enough to chose an aspect of it that they want to do, he didn’t have patience for a particular field.
I never could chose a niche in coaching because it was always so highly intermingled with everything else. Like a big … firework exploding and going out in all directions. it’s never what people present on the surface when they come to see you. Anyway, have a good night. Where ever you are.