There are some things that will make you angry and/or confused and then later on if you flip it a bit for yourself, you may get a huge horse laugh out of it. So that’s just what I decided to do with this particular post. When I first met this person, I had a caricature that was drawn for me for my business cards for life coaching. I had cards made up with them too, they came out pretty cool. Course, you know, people were all like, “Oh that’s not professional enough”, however I really liked them. In any event, that’s what I had up and this person had what I thought was one of those pictures that a camera phone could make out of a real picture.
In the beginning, we’d be going back and forth on one another’s blog and the mind does funky shit. It was every day, all the time, because as I’ve said we were on one another’s blog constantly, you had these two faces together and my goodness they were cute. At some point they put up an artsy profile one which was also cute. They were good with the computer so they knew how to do those things, which is pretty cool. They had another picture up of about 1/4 of their face with greased eyebrows and these huge round horn rimmed glasses, it was only the upper right of their face. Seemed like the same person. So, at minimum, at least it was a real boy. lolol! My intention is to laugh at myself while I write this because I thought I’d made every possible stupid mistake known to man. Welp, I wuz wrong! :)
Okay, so we have the two caricatures up there, mine and his and they looked kinda cute together. There was a lot of back and forth and as I mentioned early on here, I identified quite heavily with pretty much everything this person wrote about which was of a personal nature or other articles involving the mind. The boy was very, very good at that. Tips hat at screen, seriously I always liked that boys brains, smart as whip. So at some point with all the laughing going on and how much I enjoyed their company every day, all the time, it thought, you two look cute together.
You’re a moron. It’s a cartoon!!!
(Rolls eyes at herself) I know but it’s a handsome cartoon, right?
(Slaps self in forehead) You are an idiot.
Insert laughter at myself HERE.
So, I changed my profile picture and that image your mind will create on it’s own because of what’s in front of it, went away. :) He changed his at one point while we were IM’ing because I had that there and I asked, he put it back and one has nothing to do with the other, I simply find that to be… OMG Funny as FUCK! I did have a lot of other shit going on at the time too with work and stress and this human was such a welcome addition to my day. Which was further enhanced by their brain and the things they knew. Remember, I didn’t really have to explain anything. Moving on.
At one point, I had asked for a picture, again. I had put pictures up here and to date, I’d seen a picture of his hat, 1/4 of his face, two caricatures and a picture of his hand holding, I believe a candle which was fuzzed out. So it wasn’t too far of a stretch to give me a real life picture no? Oh, a small side track. We were talking about our dogs or his dog one day and he was like, “I sent you something” … Ooooh! yeeaaah! PICTURE!! I click over to email, saw the dog, beautiful little fella, handsome as could be. Truly. I put his picture at the end of this conscious stream of thought below, so you all could see this handsome baby.NAOW! I went to work that day and I said to my co-worker, “Ohai! He sent me a picture! I was so excited, gleeful fucking puppy that I am!” Then I said, tell me what you think that meant to me. She responded it’s not real. I said that’s right. The picture of the dog made me feel like they were sharing something more personal with me LOOK! PICTURE! So, for me, it was like a false sense of intimacy and sharing because it wasn’t him in the picture with the dog, so I could see him as well. Which I did find disappointing, of course. Course, I think the dog could possibly have been more handsome and would have been more trusting. I digress. :)
During another conversation, prior to the dog one, I had a picture up of myself in a sexy cop Halloween costume, he mentioned he hadn’t seen it and it was done in that vague manner wherein if you suggest something and bring it up in that way, I would gleefully be all like, “Oh I’ll send it to you!” I mean we had all these prior exchanges and I was surprised they would pull that shit. Then again, I was surprised by a lot of things. Suffices to say, I didn’t play. So much for that chubby huh? Moving on.
I had asked for a picture of him again at some point. My response at the time was that they would make a deal with me. They would send me a picture of their body, you know, cropped. I was like, you want to send me a picture of your body and I’ll put the caricature picture on top. They said something like it was the best they could do. You can imagine how scrunched my brow was, primarily due to the confusion of trying to reconcile something like that which made no fucking sense. I said No, they said, “I’m sorry”. I’d better hurry and finish this one because the emotions and thoughts connected to that conversation are quickly rising to the surface here.
Beings that they were good with modifying photographs and the day after I’d told him that it was getting to me I believe it was, they made their caricature smile as they rationalized the dream I had a week or so prior. Something like that, this is a bit cloudy. I was trying to decide if I wanted to continue to speak to them and to me to send me a modified picture of themselves of only their body was pretty fucked up. That was way prior and the picture things are not in a particular order as to time line, they simply collided in my head as a whole over time.
So… what? Maybe a picture from college or a picture of someone else entirely? I was an imbecile, I admit that. That went into my nice folder in my head, along with all the other things that had started to bother me. So, the “deal” served him, he could keep things as they were and appease me with a picture of probably a hot body and my slap happy self could just keep going on with it as things were. It would stand to reason right? I’d already accepted his life experience and what he’d been through as the method by which he felt funny to reveal himself to me, “which had nothing to do with me” (as he explained and diverted) to send me a real picture of him. It would not be that much of a stretch.
Why the fuck would I accept this from a friend or anyone? I mean, this is behavior from the very type of guy that HE HIMSELF would have said was a douche and should stay away from. I guarantee you, sure as I’m sitting here typing this, if I were to tell him this story, he would have told me to walk away the guy was full of shit. Why? Because, of course, he was my friend and that’s what friends do for one another, they look out for you and you for them. Unless of course, it’s personal. It’s like with anyone really, if they’re doing it, it’s okay. If someone is doing the very same thing to their friend, family and/or relatives, well “Oh hell no”. There’ll be hell to pay. Seems… logical.
So uh… I have to go because initially this was funny, at least this morning it was when I decided to post the picture he was so vague about. The one I should send because he mentioned he hadn’t seen it. I thought further that it would only be fair to present it, in a manner, conducive with … making a deal. I’ve posted that picture you alluded to assuming I would gleefully forward it to you. You decide if it’s really me or not. I’d say it was, fair enough.
That, is a funny fucking picture. Oh now Sue, your incisors are showing. I think this is a fair deal, I mean … fuck, wouldn’t this appease YOUR silly puppy ass? :)
For the record I did appreciate the offer he made once that if I ever wanted a picture modified or made for me, “he’s my man”. So sweet and I thought about it :) however I think that would be highly inappropriate. Don’t you? Mmmyyaaaa. Me too. Le’Shame.
The below text you can literally ignore, that is unless you scrolled down to see the dog picture referenced above. Then again, I keep my word.
Perhaps we should re-frame this. Maybe we should blame my naivete.
DUH DID YOU NOT PAY ATTENTION TO ONE THRU THREE OF THESE POSTS? KEEP UP. I SAID THAT I WOULD NOT INCLUDE PERSONAL ITEMS OR INFORMATION ABOUT THIS HUMAN OR THEIR LIFE. DIDN’T I? Now… scroll back up and finish. By now you’ve seen the other picture if you cheated and scrolled down here to see the dog, so you must read the rest to find out what the fuck that’s all about. :) Thank you.