There was a sad thing that happened on Google and in order that I don’t resurrect any sadness for anyone, I’ve modified this post accordingly. Although I have a post as to what a wonderful human being they were on another post. I think they wouldn’t mind being remembered in such a kind light.
I think about the human beings we meet online and rather than forgo making these new friends based on this bad experience, I’d much rather pay attention, as much as humanely possible so it doesn’t happen again and open up in degrees vs. never trying. Can you imagine how sad that would feel. Ever wonder if you came across something like that and it reminded you of how you do not want to be a particular way, although you identify with it, you do not want to be and/or feel that way for extended periods of time. Albeit things trigger your experiences in life, like this did for me.
See, it’s not that I hold onto the catfish thing, it’s more that it comes up in various ways, through different situations and people.
I would like to say that you can tell a person’s nature by the way they communicate with you, for me it’s a combination of how they communicate and how they feel. Some make you comfortable and go back and forth, simply sharing things, which is really cool. One individual who I met a while back thought I wasn’t serious about a topic and I smiled at the screen, advised them I haven’t changed my thought process on such things (this is good based on the topic by the way) in quite some time. I think they believe me now :)I don’t mind someone having doubts, that’s simply human particularly based on everyone’s life experience up through to that point. So if someone watches what I say or engages in a conversation with me and simply watches or exchanges things, I don’t mind. All I’m saying is that I understand it, how could I not based on my experiences?
Incidentally, that’s what I thought I was doing with catfish person, now that I’m thinking about it because I felt that over time, since they opened up the IM idea, that they’d open up and send me a picture of themselves to appease my fears about it all. It wasn’t like I hadn’t brought it up prior. It just kept getting flipped back onto me, by their venting about whatever’d happened to them. There are good methods of communication and bad kinds where one person manipulates another. The good kind of communication is where you are enabling someone to feel comfortable with you and it enhances the relationship, for everyone. The bad types of communication such as being vague, circular, diversionary and flipping things on someone to serve oneself are … self protecting and selfish. They literally break relationships apart as it did in this situation. Everything was fine as long as things went the other individuals way and I didn’t press the issue.
YOU DO HAVE TO BE AWARE THOUGH what it is that you want from it, what your personal agenda is, the WHY of it all. I always have a personal agenda. I will feel better overall if those I am around on a consistent basis … what?
Do what I want them to. Why? Because, little by little, when people change and they are open to certain things, YOUR ENTIRE ENVIRONMENT becomes more pleasant. You do have to have the appropriate personal boundaries and figure out what they are, but still. This is NOT all about them doing things my way, although it does sound that way, however my way leans heavily towards what I learned in life coaching and everything that I have read up through to this point.
You are a part of enhancing the relationships in your life. If you feel uncomfortable or afraid etc., and every one is different… you have to make a change, whether it’s by removing that person or seeking out another way to get through to them. You will not succeed all the time, because human beings are all different. Period. :) Which, by the way, has nothing to do with you. It could have something to do with you, I realize that my personality is not for everyone, I realized that a very long time ago and barring them being cruel or what have you, this is something that I accept.
Some people don’t feel as good. You can talk to them a while however how they behave thereafter literally should make your decision for you. Know when you are pissing up a rope. Truly… it’s important. You can’t beat someone over the head and you also have to know that others have their own shit going on and you, you lucky fukkett LOL :) have to be very clear on what your intentions are, what you want to achieve in that situation and sometimes, while it makes me very happy to see these changes, KNOW that as much as it is all about you, it is not all about you.
Fun huh? :) Be good to each other.