Remember when I said never assign character traits to a person based on what you think you see? The part that stuck out at me the most was, “idealization: a mental mechanism in which the person attributes exaggeratedly positive qualities to the self or others” and it was originally part of something I’m reading on defence mechanisms which I fell over yesterday during the many conversations I gleefully had all day long about brains.
In case you’d like to read about it… Idealization and devaluation is also interesting.
I did this myself up to a point and I thought, “Oh, that looks familiar”. The only difference therein was, while I was blind, I was not blind I just gave away my intelligence in a sense because I valued the friendship and hoped things would change, despite constant resistance. (i.e., explanations, diversions and the idea that it takes so long to get to know any one person, I mean, that could take years in of itself.) Indeed and fair enough.
I remember, this one comment I made, it just flashed before my mind … the picture of it, if you will a comment I made based on what I saw, or thought I saw in someone. I believe, I was defending them in some way about something they felt uncomfortable with or something. Course, in my defense, they didn’t stab anyone in the eye with a pen so we’re all good then right?
When little inconsistencies come up, which I’m sure they have, one makes excuses, rationalizations, etc., about it, yet … those are like big blinders. Because the mind is gleefully picturing an individual one way and they’re not that person. I’m not saying that a person is not who they say they are, this comes out over time.
I know we like people, I know when we heavily identify with someone, for myself when I identify with someone it’s very easy to assume certain things. It depends on what’s shared, that’s very important to keep in mind. What they mean to you, how many things tick off things that are important “to you” and them because ultimately, they have shared things as well, over time, that you value, that they value … why you not interested! Things you both can discuss and identify with one another about, the list is this neat compilation of any and all interactions made with said person.
It shows you, over time, who you are talking to however to realize this is only the tip of the iceberg is ultimately important isn’t it. At least that’s what my friend there told me one time. Based on said comments and many other factors, I thought I had made a really cool friend.