As an aside, did you know? WordPress’ new features allow you to see the picture in the screen in newer blogs? This older set up just gives you all that gobbldegook. I like the newer one, me’be in settings I could fix that, it’s nice to see a preview, w/o clicking preview.
I laugh at all kinds of things now. Horrible things, life experiences etc., I always did but it’s more pronounced now. Not really important stuff… okay, that too. HOWEVER reason being is, at some point, while life and some of the people in it, some of the things people do are certainly not funny, it’s nothing new. Meaning, I haven’t heard everything or seen everything there is to see, however one thing is true, everyone fucks up, everyone has something they’re contending with, everyone has their little triggers (not at my expense mind you, fuck off, deal with your shit, thank you) and things that bother them. I don’t mind working with someone, or going through them like a mack truck when necessary. Not the last part all the time, dealing with some types leaves me exhausted. Mentally and emotionally, even when there is significant change. See Son of a Bitch post from yesterday. It’s relevant.
Life leaves a mark. Wrong. Other people leave marks. Animals are kinder, so you know, they’llgrowl first, warn you, then bite you. I’m a fan, I growl first, then decide what I’m going to do with someone. I don’t want rabies so I try not to bite. :) lol If I do bite, they’ve asked for it. I”m sure of it at this point because I said it on here for a long time, it’s because I seek to understand first, etc., etc., This is now a firmly embedded belief that will not be shaken. It’s permanent.
Oh and fuck you life lessons. :) Oh, wait… I’m sorry, fuck you humans who taught me these life lessons. I’d much rather learn from a dog. You know, feed me, love me, walk me, take care of me and we’ll be fine. They’re smart, don’t you think? Very simple living things. I may like a simplistic life, like that. I’d also like to think I view the world in simplistic terms like this and for the most part, I think I do. Cept, for that person over there who makes me growl. That’s simple. Right? They’re a bone head, I growl, warning served. Seems fair.
Oh and why, yes… of course I’d nuzzle my nose up into your armpit if I thought it would make you smile. Don’t be stupid. lol
Where I spend my days, there are dogs. One human there, yesterday saw the one horse (big doggie) shove her head under my arm while I was typing and says, “Just get a dog already”… I was like nope, I’m not allowed to where I am and I can play with yours and not have the responsibility. :) Wait. What? Play with… what? haahaha! Ooh, I’m silleh stoopid. Woof.
The one human there has these… explosions. They’re ingrained. Anyway, Oh! As an aside, for those of you who like to throw tantrums? When you calm the fuck down, you rageaholic muther fukker, it does not mean you turn into a pussy. If you do not understand this, all it means is you stop being a fukktard and learn how to communicate like an intelligent human being. One doesn’t have to be a bull in a china shop to be heard, etc., etc., blah, fucking blah. Said human I work with consistently says how, I have a way with people.
Well. Who would I be to disagree with him? I do have a way with people. :) Cept… of course, that asshole over there. I digress. The list I referenced making in yesterday’s post as to the positive change any one human can make, after kicking their ass repeatedly (oye) needs to have the pro and con aspect of it. See, the mind is kind, we forget the things people do to us over time… especially during the good behavior periods. The body, of course, retains the emotional triggers. That’s no fun. Over time, when the individual stops doing these things, or they lessen, so does your body’s expectation that those things they used to blow up over, they’re not going to anymore and/or haven’t. “For now”.
I’ve done the reasoning, redirecting, flipping, etc., etc., etc., sarcasm and humor is invaluable. One thing I had not tried and advised them the other day about, was the following: “When you behave “this way” you give me chest pains” (which is true) … The other will be, “If you do that again, I’m going home” I have said, if I can’t think straight, I can’t type. LOL ! Trust me, that’s good too.
Further, if you read yesterday’s post, I (unfortunately) have a higher tolerance for s.o.b’s due to all the son’s a bitches I’ve been around who were “overall” good people. Except that asshole over there… always know, there’s an asshole over there, who has absolutely no good fukking intentions whatsoever and they have to go, just like those narcissistic pricks I’ve worked with over the years who were such cunts, they should be sucking slime through a straw at the bottom of a porta potty. At this stage though, in my life, the emotional ramifications, the physical ramifications of these things, do not roll off. A volatile person is a volatile person. A person who is aggressive is an aggressive person, a person who is uh… you get the picture, right? I don’t want to deal with that shit anymore. If you can dish it? I’m going to growl at you, if you continue, you’ll be bitten, if you continue you’ll be removed. I have no desire to be involved with any kind of nonsense and fukkery anymore.
Please reference the above paragraph though, wherein I’m clear as to you don’t have to be a twat or a neanderthal to articulate yourself and play well with others. Mind you, none of this means I’ll stop using all those great things I’ve learned. And of course, you know if someone needs my help, there are variables, certainly. Life has a block button. Use it.
I’ve ranted at length about bad behaviors. I’ve redirected my emotional responses ad nauseum, to process them faster… that’s very nice. Actually, it is, it’s a defense mechanism really, although, the emotions are only suppressed and eventually come out later anyway, I use humor for that release. And soon too, working out again. Invaluable.
After all of this … these idiots are growing on me. O.O I can’t fucking believe it. I realized this yesterday. S’like… they were hiring someone new, this human knows exactly how I am, they’ve made comments etc., not derogatory ones, ones wherein you know they’re very well aware of who you are etc., and likewise. Certainly. They didn’t hire (haahaha) one woman because she was older and LOLOL … they said, she wouldn’t like your cursing.
Later on I thought, Oh because you’re tantrums are so much better aren’t they. dipshit.Oh, there’s no pro and cons list fo’me? Of course there is, you’d be a fuckwitted numpty not to think that they don’t have one for me as well. And I do curse, not at someone, about things and when they said it, I said… well… if it is too much, I can temper it. It’s only about things I hate … insert sheepish grin. They advised they didn’t mind, however I’ve paid more attention. It was a fair statement.
What do you mean “I” am not perfect? Fuck you. :)
Anyway… I highly suspect I will bitch, piss and moan about their behaviors again. Yesterday though, for the umpteenth time, I saw a couple of them under the surface, the person they really are the “why” of it all, the reason they’re like that, their other side. I don’t mind having patience with someone.
I simply do not want to deal with “that” anymore.
I wonder… am I being assimilated in some way? haahaha! Join the collective! Could it be true?It’s a possibility because I wanted to stick up for one of them the other day. Primarily because they are a product of their environment, they’re trying really hard (they literally cannot help their behaviors, it’s… just… a part of them, different person though.) to redirect themselves. I looked at said human yesterday and I was like… ugh… I’m fond of this person? Shit. OH COME ON! When did that fucking happen! It was their facial expression, I’m getting very good at those, very good. If you’re paying attention at all, if you speak to the facial expression and can remove tone of voice and behavior (this is interesting by the way) it mingles in nicely with how a person responds to you.
Albeit on the phone you have only tone of voice. You’d be well served paying attention to that as well.
I’d talk about the pussy … (cough) sorry, that human who is skurred all the time but… you know, the type of person who, like the little shit bag they are, will rat anyone out to save their own ass, who will agree with you in your face and then go skurry back and say something because their skurred they’d get into trouble on some level and then YOU have to deal with it in some way. NOPE. They too, from here on in, will get the smile and nod. Lesson learned, they can be skurred (don’t see them often anyway), I’m not getting involved.
A wise choice.
I highly suspect I will bitch about bad behavior again. Don’t be surprised. However this… this is… unexpected. I wish people well, I don’t like to see people fight. My one friend on Google mentioned that I’m a fixer. :) Well… Okay, I prefer the term negotiator, semantics however I’d rather see people come to middle ground and resolve their differences versus having to kick your fucking ass, then deal with shit on any level. I do wish, human’s wouldn’t require it, be nice… stahp that shit.
Go forth and be aware of who you’re dealing with. Everyone’s going through something.
Just not at my expense. :) Thank you.
Be good to each other.
Still reserve the right to vent about these very same people’s behaviors.
You do it too. STFU
Some of you know a person who is a son of a bitch. The son of a bitch is that person who shows generosity, kindness however has a temper, diverts things, blame, etc., uses psychological covert and overt manipulation to get their way. You have the gleeful task of deciphering if they’re having a bad day or they’re an abusive human being. Because even the best of us have a bad day. One tell, and I’ve written about it before, is when you’re confused. I’ll dig all those out again, those posts.
It’s annoying. Then, they’re kind, they have moments where they… against the grain of who they are, show you their softer side, the generous side and it’s like trying to figure out if one is in an abusive relationship or not. Emotional abuse is equally as evil as physical, although I dare say, they’re both equally as damaging to the human spirit. Course, there is good behavior period by abusive humans, until the next explosion. I’m intermingling things here as to topic and humans behavior.
If you’ve grown up with and/or around a son of a bitch, those confusing humans who show great generosity and kindness, yet have a pattern of behavior indicative of an individual who twist things around to serve “their” purposes, they could be playing you, OR they could be… :)
A son of a bitch. Meaning, some human beings haven’t quite gotten hold of how their behavior affects others, at least until you point it out to them. Good son of a bitches, if you redirect them, will slowly change over time… they have to feel safe to open up, because there’s a reason they are the way they are. Poor role models, their careers, mentors who quite literally sucked, their parents, etc. You get the picture? Good.
If you like, look up cognitive behavioral therapy, erry good psychologist knows how to redirect a person… wait :) “So they smell their own farts”. I stole that last sentence from someone and I laughed like hell when they said it. Those who are open to the sniff test will indeed keep testing you … some can’t help it, YET some change, it takes a while. Remember they’ve been that way for quite a while.
Some son of a bitches have horrible behaviors because they’re protecting themselves. Okay, most of them are OR no one taught them any different, it all varies greatly according to who we are dealing with. I work with lawyers. A lot of them are son of a bitches and this is what prompted this thought process. They are literally taught to win and at no cost. It’s their job, however I dare say the separation NEEDS TO BE in their mind that this behavior, only belongs in the courtroom.
NOT in their interpersonal relationships. Whether it’s staff, their family, etc., etc., this type of mentality creates horrible environments. What’s most interesting IF YOU are a good communicator, redirect them, address the things they do, over time you will see subtle changes in their approach. It doesn’t mean YOU WIN and THEY LOSE you fukktard. Although, I understand once a person stops a particular behavior, how you would think that… primarily due to the fact that you’ve finally gotten them to… what? STAHP DOING THAT SHIT. Mind you, not all lawyers are like this. O.o
Being above someone else in that self righteous manner, will not serve the relationship, or you over time. If anything, you’ll turn into the son of a bitch assuming you have control. You don’t want control, you want the behavior to stop, that’s your goal. Particularly if you do work with them, you’ll have your hands full.
These humans and others, were trained and taught to win. To divert responsibility, blame, the law and other things to serve their client and these thought process very easily trickle down into their personal lives. What is interesting is to see how a person can change within each relationship. I’m not a fan of an authority figure using tactics to make me feel small. I remember someone once said to me, “I sign your paycheck”. I said, “Yeah, And? Have you not seen my resume?” :) LOLOL Oh, what’d they do? Nothing. It didn’t work. They went away. Mission accomplished on a few levels.
If you grew up with a son of a bitch and I’ve known quite a few, you’ve been pre-conditioned, perhaps to have higher tolerance for them. Although, as I’ve gotten older, the emotional hits from bad behaviors etc., and manipulation which is a personal pet peeve of mine, doesn’t build relationships, not the disgusting kind anyway that’s just evil, one wants to remove them as quickly as possible once they’ve shown their true colors, are something that I don’t want to contend with anymore.
The lull in their behaviors is the most interesting aspect. In those times, you get to relax, feel safe, that perhaps they’ve reached some inner understanding, within themselves mind you… that’s up to them to learn. Repeatedly as those behaviors are deeply ingrained. It can take a while as their trust in YOUR intentions (since they think that way) is built up.
Anyway… in the end, one can redirect another human being and advise them what it is their doing, flip their behavior back on them, “make them smell their own farts” haahahaha and if you like, you can even keep a quite diary of the positive changes they WILL make. Providing they’re open to it in the first place. The reason for the quiet list of things they have made positive change about is so that you don’t villify (sp.? oops) them in the future due to a build up their behaviors in your system, which have now created an emotional trigger FOR YOU. You want to be aware of those because those triggers were put there by this person’s behavior, you’re not crazy, the anxiety you feel is directly related to their behavior and when YOU lose it, you’ll have to know what’s them and what’s you. See, they’re over it already, “their explosion” did not affect them, it affected you, you are the one with the trigger now. Thank you fukkhead. You can however reference past behavior as to “the why” you are reacting this way, in this moment. Not in a blame type manner, in a manner which says, “The reason I’m nervous right now is due to the other times this has come up where you’ve done “this”. Those who are not evil people, will exhibit change over time. You literally leave them no choice because they’re not getting away with anything. You see? I hope none of this sounds easy, because it’s not.
In any event, I have to go get ready for work. Your goal, is to redirect them NOT into thinking your way or turn them into a simpering whatever… it’s more along the lines of being able to communicate well, work together, have a better environment or relationship. If you sink to their level, you’re not better than they are. I promise you that. I realize, that is easier said than done, particularly since you’re literally learning from the best based on the things they do.
I’d say the question becomes. Do they know what they do and the why? I’d say yes, however I’d also say it’s become such a mechanism of relating to the world, it’s second nature, it’s part of them it’s a part of the sum or who they are. You’ll note attorneys rarely answer a direct question… a lot of people skirt issues all the time. Your goal, you lucky fukker is to learn how to identify it when it happens so you can redirect them. Some of that redirection will be nose to nose blow out fights. I hate those.
Then you decide thereafter if you want to stay there and/or work with this person. Literally. Over time they’ll permeate your system based on the enormity of their fukktarded behavior and letting them go is much wiser so you can gleefully skip away and leave all that negative, cluster fuck of emotion and mindfucking behind you. Oh, you can cognitive therapy desensitize your own ass too, redirect your emotions, learn how to process them quicker, etc., etc., that’s invaluable. Doesn’t make the impact of explosions better from any son of a bitch you may encounter, however the idea is to learn how to quickly process what this human is doing, when it’s you, when it’s not, etc. I teach my peanut these things, she’s getting pretty good. Not quite there in delivery, however I’ll get her there. It’s a necessary in life, to know and understand that not all people think like us, are kind, communicative and/or of any like mind whatsoever.
Life’s too short you know.
Be good to each other.
It seems, as some of you know, I have a very firm belief that in time, we will find something we need, in the manner in which we need it. I’ll explain. My last post was about missing my friend, also missing the manner in which my friends cranium worked. Quite an intelligent human, I loved that about him. I’ve consistently though how I’d like to meet a person who has similar talents, in a manner conducive to me reading what they’ve said and wanting to fuck them silly due to the manner in which they expressed themselves. :)
Okay, so we’re not fucking anyone silly, however that’s the height of the glee I have when I adore a person’s mind. Unless, it’s a girl… eeeuwww, :) I like teh boyz. Course, there are highly intelligent women. This being said, when I stopped speaking to bone head I instantaneously thought I should find a replacement.
I want to be clear. One does not find a replacement for a person who matters to you, who you identified with in the manner in which I did this human. I tried anyway. It didn’t work, it wouldn’t work, primarily because for me it was, seemingly, a person who loved the human mind as much as I do and I never had to explain anything at all. I stand by the not needing to explain anything however, I’ve learned a few things … rather, I’ve come to realize a few things since them. I’m saying this wrong.
I will never idealize another person again, ever, without addressing the thing that affect me and doing the best I can to make a decision as to the emotional ramifications of same. Course if you work where I do, this completely negates that last sentence entirely. I’m well aware of it however variables apply. I did address things with this person, however the manner in which it evolved, please see history as to evolution under the picture above, it’s there from start to finish. Thank you. :) There’s a difference in the manner in which we meet people which makes a substantial difference in how any one relationship evolves.
Anyway! I was tagged in a post by a new human I’ve befriended. The person’s page where I was tagged? Haz a brilliant mind. I’ve been reading his stuff for 2 days now. It’s so fucking good AND I laugh as well (my fav) I thought… There he is… there’s this mind, I’ve been wanting. I know other quite brilliant humans, I’m ever so grateful, there’s a nack, if you will some people have, in the manner in which they write which speak to people. Not all types speak to all, however I like a particular kind.
I’m fucking happy to announce I found a mind I’d love to play with. :) !!!!
Oh…LOL No, we’re not doing THAT again are we. No, we’re not doing the catfish thing again, we’re merely going to enjoy the things they write about from ……………..over here. I’ve already advise said human that I love their cranium. I have no idea of they’re a nice person overall and I don’t … I don’t care. It’s the material, it’s the manner in which they write things, it’s the psychology of it all.
It’s the manner in which they make me tilt my head at the screen and think… my fucking god that’s good. These two men are so similar … yet so different (Catfish and new human) that… I would like to sit with the two of them, in a room, and watch them talk. THAT would be entertainment to me. GAWD DAMN that would be awesome :) O.O
I’ve met several people who have quite brilliant minds, I love playing with them all. This is different though.
Admittedly, paranoia took hold of me yesterday as the similarities etc., hit my system I thought… holy fuck, what if that’s the same person? The folder opened up in my mind, their history, the stories E put on their blog and based on the information presented by E, if it were the same person, I would be highly surprise. More importantly, I can see this person. Doesn’t mean anything, regardless of knowing who E is, I found the paranoia interesting anyway. One must love the mind and the things it throws at you based on emotional triggers and similarities.
I’m fucking happy right now. That’s for sure… I’m more happy I could literally send my prior human who I was so fond of a pizza. However, that’s stalkerish… You skurred? :) Think about what you know of me and ask yourself… Would she? :)
No, I would not. That’s simply my inner child, giggling gleefully at the idea of something she would never do. It was more about the LIE and not knowing. I find it illogical that he can know exactly who I am and I did not have that information. I do not like liars, I do not like people taking advantage if my good nature and fucking with my head. You see, knowing takes away fear. However I highly doubt they like the idea of my knowing.
So, for a change, perhaps they might worry themselves about what I could possibly be capable of. That would suck… and would turn about be fair play? Me’be they should open the folder in their mind, siphon through all the information in there and ask themselves… would she?
Oh and while you’re at it :) On one level, I hope it feels as bad to you as what you did to me feels. You know, someone you thought you knew, someone who you spoke to all the time, who you COUGH valued and who valued you, who you pussied out from revealing yourself to. You know, me … who is pretty harmless and remember, if you’re afraid “at any point and time” think about how frightened you made me with your head games.
Maybe the question you need to ask yourself is… “Is turn about fair play” :)
No, contrary to how it sounds, I wish said human well.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and play with this humans cranium. Fuckin A man!
Aaagh, my fine human’s who pass through here. The tangled web one weaves when first one practices to deceive. Human beings instinctively know what things they are going to be able to get away with, will do those things and the only time they will feel badly, if at all, is if and when they get caught. If they are this type of person of course. Not all people are, the shift from side to side, to middle to left to up and down based on who they’re speaking to. It’s the sum of who they are really, no harm, no foul.
No harm, no foul? Really. I disagree. I forget sometimes, people don’t realize just how much I know. The details of a person come out over time, who they are, what they’d do to someone else and more importantly what they are quite literally capable of doing to you. Particularly if it means, they could save face or their own ass in the process. I’ve done it, to a point, saved my own ass however those were extreme times and based on the actions of someone else. I don’t start such things and since then, 20 years ago, beings as those days were a lack of life experience, we’ve hopefully evolved since then. However, that’s not everyone.
I get excited when I assume someone understands exactly what I’m saying, in the moment I’m saying it however truth is, they understand based on their life experience. Which is fine, however it doesn’t go any deeper than that and will soon be forgotten or they’ll twist it around to suit their purposes. You do it too. I think it’s more important to see if “we” are doing it as well and then change if we don’t like it, however then again, that’s me. I do see people shift, I love it, they’re happier for it in the end. At least when it’s positive change.
Yet others, you must watch, like a cobra because they do have the capability to bite you when you least expect it. It’s not like you don’t know. I am quite aware of the things people can and will do. I see it all the time in different degrees. Initially, one thinks, oh cool! Me’be of like mind! Over time, the details of who they are come out and it’s simply not true. It’s not specifically about expectations either. It’s more along the lines of hoping that things won’t go south at some point and time. It’s more about wanting to have faith in human beings. Some you can, some you see good things in all the time. Others you must wait and see.
I remember I wrote something here a while back, others saw it, in a conversation I had later on, they advised me that they felt they’d resorted my faith in some way. :) I haven’t forgotten that and they stopped themselves from using something personal, I said on here, in a conversation to What? It’s difficult to believe a person who would say something like that after they saw it, has good intentions overall, it breaks trust and I don’t forget such things. It’s not like if you call them out on it, they’d readily admit it either. So, one puts those things in a folder in their mind for safekeeping. It would be under the sub-category of “is capable of using something personal they know about you for personal gain or something else entirely” (?). It’s this aspect of what people are capable of doing that’s always troublesome. It’s not like you’re going to ask, there’s no literal proof, cept me’be IP addy’s however I digress. It’s not like they’re going to be honest. It’s not like one doesn’t know what they read it at the time. And they really should not have thought, I was that stupid. If anything, doing that left a mark.
The truth is in the details. The truth is in the things they (anyone really) don’t say, who they show you they are over time, the white lies, the omissions, the part of themselves they don’t share, the very real fact that they assume YOU may only see the surface of any one given situation. That’s not true. There’s honesty interlaced in such conversations, I appreciate it, although I’m certainly not used to it. It’s a different level of being open with someone, this too goes in a folder, after all it is my life and I’m as fair minded as humanely possible, people change, it’s the “why” I think about. More importantly, for how long? I used to think that this insightful mind of mine, was a curse. I thought it brought me loss and things would happen due to my seeing things that others may not. You do have to wait, assumptions are bad and anyone can twist around things to sooth you or me. I’ve also said that it was ignoring this gift that caused the problem, so I no longer ignore it.
You have to ask yourselves, what is your attachment to this situation, this person, any given thing. What significant importance does this person have, for you, in your life and are you okay with it. I now view said gift as just that, a gift because I’ve said it numerous times, the largest mistakes I’ve ever made were the ones where I ignored my intuition. Course, as we get older, add other life experiences, tossing up all that information, siphoning through what we see now and cross referencing is… quicker. AND sometimes still we don’t want to see it, due to our attachment to the situation. It happens, I’ve caught myself. Because the world wants us to see the good, I see it, I also know for a very real fact that KDaddy is right, “People are going to do what they are going to do”. more importantly, is it okay to use something from conversations long past, to have someone assume that you think the same. The same words, the same values and is that who they really are? Frankly, that’s not what I see, the contradictions are endless. So, it begs the question, who are they really. Pick a standard, stick to it, don’t bullshit me. It’s all fun and games until all hell breaks loose. I’d like to avoid the whole, all hell breaking loose aspect. Thank you.
So, what’s under the lies and the omissions? Is it intentional? Does that individual over there think you’re that naive. I’m not naive. Nor am I rusty any more, I mentioned a while ago certain things we’re good at need to be honed, the thing is, it’s still exhausting. Are they afraid of what you’ll think? People will tell you the truth, over time if your listening in various conversations if you’re paying attention that is. The part that always sucks is that once the pieces start fitting together, the attachment you had to whatever relationship it was (i.e., friendship, or otherwise) you’re definitely disappointed.
Maybe it’s respect. Maybe they respect you so much that they don’t want you to think less of them in some way however human beings are like puzzles. Once you put all the pieces together YOU had better know yourself well enough to decide what you’re going to do with this information. Met a person, as an aside, who is like Nog (I’d explain, it’d take too long).
I put that information in their folder, in my mind. I truly hoped I was wrong. I’m not. That’s not personal, I get it. However it’s in their behaviors. What they do is, lure a person in, when they think they’ve gotten what they want, they run. It’s the game really, they’re a bit screwed up, everyone is on some level. What they don’t realize is that anything said human puts on the net is viewable. It paints a larger picture, as a whole as to who they are. It is a shame really, it’s the thrill of getting someone to do what they want and then when the game is over, they lose interest, they flit onto someone else. I see it, I’ve seen in a couple times. Do they do it with intent? I think on some level they know, I highly doubt they’ve really put any thought into it. At all.
I spoke to a friend of mine the other day who advised me I need to be using these skills, primarily because I can go from point A to Z fairly quickly now. I used said skills every day, however they were more talking about using them to make money with them. I do appreciate those who over time, talk to me, there’s no pretense and some who really think about what they’re going to say, are wonderful. Because they have put thought into it. If you’re paying attention at all, you sense this from another person. Those are the people I gravitate towards.
I thought, the other day, for the umpteenth time, the things I could do, to another human being if I literally chose to do it. Except, I wouldn’t be able to live with my conscience. I do not like being tested.
I’d say in closing, the idea of being a decent human being is doing our personal best not to hurt someone in this process. We’re going to, at some point, hopefully we don’t dig too deeply at the time. I don’t draw first blood, they usually start it. If I do and I’m unaware of it, I’ll remedy it when possible. However… you/they/others do not have permission to do it to me.
You have no authority over me. This includes bosses, friends, peers, whomever.
Mutuality, reciprocity, taking care… all good things. Be good to each other, we’re all we’ve got. Oh, you’re scared to be… what? Better … ? It is true though, being who you are will remove those who do not have your best interests. Although, one does want to be careful as to the agenda of others.
I’d prefer it, if we all realized, at the end of the day that we’re all we’ve got. I realize this is not going to change anytime soon and like something else I wrote the other day, I’m aware it all exists.
I still believe most people are good. Going about life, doing what they’re doing based on the information provided up to that point. Me too. In case you missed it, this is all about me. I can only imagine what it would be like to have a quiet mind, to not have all the details and contradictions pop up, to see things as they are, it’s still exhausting. It’s a different skill set then say, just hearing things… I mean it’s “right there”… so’s the good, the bad and the ugly… Decide who you want to be, be that person. Be good to each other.
Any conversations I may have with another person, are not going to be in detail. They are private conversations and will be treated in the same manner I spoke about the catfish situation. More, about the idea of things.
I closed this blog due to fear, not due to this situation. Something else came up on another level. It wasn’t warranted really. I did it anyway. You see, despite the fact that I’ve met some amazing people since this catfish garbage that I had here with said human who is the highlight of these catfish posts, I’m still afraid. For me, it was a much bigger emotional hit than anyone can imagine. Or, maybe you can.
While looking for pedophiles a few weeks ago, this new information came to me, a nerve was triggered, it drove me back here. To this situation where I asked, someone I trusted, to reveal himself to me. This person who claimed, I made him feel valued. Yes, that guy.
So, as it went, I was busy doing my thing, myself and someone else were looking for pedophiles, the nerve was struck and I found myself looking into, who I thought was my friends whereabouts. How were they? Why on earth, would I do that. Well… because I valued them, truth be told I miss their cranium at times. They had that quick snap I liked, despite the very real fact that what they did, to me, is and was, unconscionable. So, I looked them up. It’s not hard, they still have a page, not this site. A new one. That was more comfortable to me because it was a new venue and in my own way, I read and caught up with how they are. They’re fine. They even started it the same exact way as the one on here, with a test post. I grinned at the screen at that point. Then I wondered… do they know they do that? Doesn’t matter.
I read the entire thing. And for… my goodness, more time than anyone would fathom spending on anyone who hurt them, as deeply as this person hurt me, I thought about the advise I could give them. Initially, I was tickled to death for their perceived happiness. I thought at the end of reading it all, they were still lying to themselves and kind of in the same place as when we last spoke. Because, they’re seemingly making the same mistakes as before. Who am I. It’s not my life. I see it though. It was right there. It was why I liked them actually. I didn’t say many things I could have back then. Primarily because, I made an assumption not based on fact, based on the manner in which they siphoned through information they applied to myself, that they would apply it to themselves. I struggled with making a comment. It wouldn’t even have been cruel in any way. I’m not like that. I would have to live with myself, they can live with themselves after the garbage they pulled however I wouldn’t like it, primarily because it was nothing I’d done. They did it.
As I chomped at the bit to leave unsolicited advise… I thought about, how … I didn’t matter. How they did nothing to remedy how I felt when I asked them for a picture (this is not up for discussion BTW, you weren’t there. Read the entire story, thank you.) nor contact me directly. You see, they could have. I had a number of people’s phone numbers on here and I’ve spoken to some. He had mine as well. It was given to him in a moment where he was all open, at least I felt it. It was New Years Eve, he was all kinds of … open via email, back and forth and that was unusual. I was SO happy! I sent him my number. He had a car accident new years eve, that was/is public knowledge because he disappeared, due to injuries he sustained. I did not know this via a private conversation we had and as I’ve referenced before, private conversations were to be kept private and I have. At that time I pretended, it didn’t matter when they disappeared, I had no idea what happened, until a post some weeks later about the accident. However those who followed my blog, read a post I made at the time, wherein I missed my friend. Then I thought how much of a coward I thought I was for not sending an email and so, I did. It was received well.
I thought about how, after I read everything on the new blog, how nothing really changed in their head. Then I laughed because, if you look that psychologist Skinner up, you have no justification in life, making any assessment of another human being, without assessing your own situation first. In many ways, he’s moved forward, yet remains the same. Me too. At least he’s healthy and seems to be doing fine, including but not limited to his new found honesty. That made me snort when I read it, that’s he’s being honest. At minimum, it should start with ones self. “I don’t want this” is a pretty profound thing to say to one’s self. Lie if you like, however moving forward after thinking something like that is a recipe for disaster. I know.
Recently, I’ve been having all kind of relationship conversations, growing closer to many people I’ve met and they are… very, very nice people. Just like on here. I entertain laughter on my page, it sooths me, I need it. Every now and then though, I miss my friend. They tell you, don’t wear your heart on your sleeve. I think that’s retarded. I do believe that support is important, so we heal. Some things take longer than others.
My dinner is done now. My initial idea in this was to write about all the conversations I’ve been having revolving relationships. Primarily, other peoples and the ideas of same, who is healing, who recently broke up and… in these discussions, one must be careful not to … assume too much. Meaning, I’m highly easy to talk to. I think, so do they and this is a ginormous compliment. :) Indeed.
At the same time, it is, my job… truly, to realize the levels in which a person opens up to me, does not mean that, they are now single and fair game. You see what I’m saying? I hope so. Some would, I do not think that way. It’s a possibility at times that to have an opportunist mindset from time to time, happens, however … I don’t feel it’s fair to anyone. Not in infancy stages of things. No, not really.
Oh and uhm… I believe, no one should assume that they are unfindable. I’ll leave it at that. ;) Now, I’m going to go eat, since I’ve gotten this all off my chest. I feel better… yes, I do actually.
My daughter put on this show last night with this woman from Long Island who is a medium. Yes, she talks to spirits. I like her :) It reminded me of something I said in a blog post a while ago where I said that one day I went into my kitchen and cried but it wasn’t my feelings. It was someone else. I even thought that was strange however they simply were not my emotions because I wasn’t that particularly sad over anything.
While watching this show, she was talking to someone and, she was crying and she said, you see this (pointing to her tears) these are not my tears, they’re his. I was like… O.O I know that feeling! I’ve done and had those sensations for years! Not to mention online as well, haven’t seen someone for a while, they start swirling around my mind and let me tell you something, in those cases? Because it’s all for different reasons POOF they show up. One does not poo poo this away, I have way too much experience with it for it not to be true. I’d give you details but, it would take too long. Let’s just say it happens a lot. It’s so cool! The other aspect of it where someone is thinking about me specifically and I sense them as well as their feelings/emotions is an entirely different ball of wax as well as the dreams I’ve had over the years.
I remember being in my crib, as a toddler (?) with this little stuffed dog that I loved. He was white and he had a little rattle in his right front paw and one night I was thinking about my great grandmother who was very old saying “don’t die”. Just out of where ever that came, I totally swear, you can’t make this shit up. Well, one can, I am not. She died. My friend who passed away from Google who I really, really liked? I can’t explain this either. I think about her and I tingle, literally tingle. My body begins to tingle and I feel good and it is the most amazing and odd thing. She’ll just pop into my head for no reason in particular and it’s like… you sense her and then I smile (like now) and say, Hi Honey, how are you? Then I tingle some more, it’s a pleasing sensation almost like being hugged. I can’t explain it, however it’s amazing to sense. She’s such a sweetheart. :)
In a thread with her significant other after she passed, I was at work and felt this way and I was talking to her loved one there and … lemme tell ya, I felt all tingly like that and I typed an entire paragraph of mush moo things as to how she felt about him which was so sweet I couldn’t believe it. Meaning, I’m more listen, stick my foot up your ass etc., person, Hallmark’s not really my thing and I typed this very, very heart felt thing. For me that was…I have no description. My kitchen… my kitchen is where I had this incredible vision, literally in my head about someone, I was looking out their eyes, into their bedroom at the calendar on the back of their door. It had been a year since we broke up and in his head he thought… “It’s her birthday today” (odd, guess he didn’t change his calendar… I digress) and then he walked into his kitchen. But that feeling was so strong and guess who called and was on my answering machine. This all happens the most when I’m attached to someone and/or I’m close to them or there’s some kind of connection there. Oh, my kitchen is usually where I feel things that much, there and in front of my bedroom mirror, like when I’m getting ready in the morning.
It’s also interesting to me that said human over there, yes … you, you know who you are, has me in this little box in their head and I don’t know why they think of me now and then. Me’be it’s because I think of them, however when they pop into my head arbitrarily and not connected to anything I’m doing like a conversation or something I’m reading that triggers and old memory from a conversation, that’s them. Sorry, that’s you. The time I wrote about how bad I felt a few weeks ago I believe it was, that wasn’t entirely all about me either. Moving on.
The human I work with gave me options the other day as to a bonus. :) He was making a deal with me. Oooh teh lerv teh deals! Deals are that thing where a person gives YOU the choice as to how your bonus will be delivered and it’s their way, or their way. I was given two choices literally to chose from and while it was for me, it served them. I gave them choices three and four for good measure and they attempted to convince me otherwise. Briefly however they did try which makes no sense, just give it to me, why barter? Why make this proposition/deal with me vs. doing what’s gone on in any firm I’ve worked at for 20 years? Give me the check then. :) DUGH
Deals one has to be careful of because they serve them and them a good percentage of the time. The person who is on the receiving end of said proposition/deal assumes they have to chose from A and B however that’s not true is it. Think about it… unless you are happy with what the proposition is, why would you agree to something like that due to them giving you what THEY want vs. truly thinking of YOU and something that is mutually serving? Or … at minimum not so self serving so they’re getting what they want and all the while look like they were offering you this great amazing thing! OOooh aaaagh… people miss this all the time. I learn my life lessons well, it just shouldn’t have been at the hands of someone I trusted.
For a couple days now, I’ve been feeling off… I’m stressed and worried about money of course, however it’s not completely about me. So last night I put up a post and asked whose having a bad whatever because “empath” Apparently, many people aren’t feeling so well. That’s a shame, however it was nice that people chimed in on that post. :) I was a little uncomfortable due to the huge swirl of emotion however that wasn’t my feelings… I still don’t know who it was or who it is exactly, it will reveal itself in time and then, in those times, you just know. Because my mind will pick it up and bring me back to the initial feeling and I just know. It’s interesting, it’s exhausting.
As for work, AB doesn’t mind my reading him and partially admits to things almost in whole as to what I see. They tend to project everything they are onto me, I’ve had to correct them numerous times. I just caught myself doing it last night, google projection and psychology, you’ll see. You put your shit onto someone else, it’s not really tranferance, it’s you/me/someone putting who they are onto someone else assuming that everyone must think like THEM and in reality they are assuming who I am based on how they think. This is never good and I have corrected them repeatedly by flipping it back onto them. You see? :) It pays to be self aware because you know when it’s them. In other news they were doing something the other day and we were laughing, yes, yes… a bit better, every fight we’ve had there has been change. Subtle however it’s there.
AB be all like, you’re controlling, “no, that’s you” … AB be like, oh you want to do things your own way, “No, that’s you”. There’s a fine line of merit as to the doing things my way because it’s more organized however that’s it. No more no less. You need to be or you/they will cause me stress based on what’s going on, I don’t need any of that. THANX :)
Now it’s coming down to money issues. The new girl, she’s just like afraid period. She put words in my mouth the other day, she was close however I didn’t say that and we’re not going through that again with people talking shit and/or putting words in my mouth. He was like, Oooh Mystery’s very literal about things… Oh I was fumming and from behind the wall of this partition my desk has I shook my finger at him like… OH really? Oh really… mind you, he was the one who was complaining about said person and all the while I was sticking up for them, with good cause. I thought she’d spoken to him and she hadn’t. Long story. I meant to say how AB did something the other day and I looked at him like “what are you doing?!” lolol He looked like a kid who got into trouble … :) LOL I think, I’m good for them. I also think that, while the chest pains are absolutely no good when a situation dictates an explosion which is uncalled for… what I do have to respect is their willingness to be open about what I see, that comes as a surprise. See, they like me, more importantly, in spite of them not being very trustful (because of the way they think mind you and the things they’ve gone through) this is a good thing.
A while ago I’d written something about how I don’t believe they are an evil person. It’s ‘those fucking triggers they have in there and the twisted way they think sometimes. I think twisted too sometimes, I get it however… okay FINE everyone doesn’t think like me and redirect themselves and while I haven’t perfected that 100% yet, those things have nothing to do with me. :)
I really have come to love that small sentence. :) “It has nothing to do with me” I do like when people take personal responsibility for their stuff, that’s always cool. We have to be careful just how much shit we’re accepting during those times. Lashing out irrationally at me, for your shit, is never a good idea.
I was thinking about what kind of stuff they put up from me the other day. O.o I curse at my desk when I’m angry. lolol That’s rubbed off on them, now they do it when they vent too but it’s OVER THERE at something not at me. :) Can you change someone else’s behavior? Yes. However it takes time and they have to want to change and you can do this by directly redirecting them and using all those skills and those fights you’ll have as long as you’re fighting fair mind you… otherwise you’re bashing each other and no one is heard. IMHO it’s way less than I’ve put up with from them. Think of bad behaviors and implanted things that trigger a person like an addiction that people can and do fall back into with the appropriate trigger. Then they get better and start over. It’s the same difference to me now that I’m thinking about it, it’s a damned good analogy.
Well this is the longest post I’ve written in a while. As for you … well, what do you want? How may I help you. I guess that’ll come out over time, if ever and time will tell.
Be good to each other, where ever you are. :)
Soooo and THEN … I am so proud of the human I spoke to the other day, who I was gonna speak to anyway, someone asked me to and I did, however I didn’t do it for the person who asked me to I did it for me and them and the kids. Primarily the kids … well it’s so intermingled at this point in my mind that it seems to be one of those win/win things.
I’ve gone over to the Betty White/House aspect of my personality. S/he’s fucking hilarious, however some won’t think so. No, not really. It’s not cruel, it’s direct, kinda funny, pointed and done with good intent and humor and some sarcasm. The good intent is very important because that yucky stuff from the other day? Oh, no, that’s not me. That was horrible, I felt horrible. Yuck, just gross. That’s not me, that’s not who I am nor who I want to turn into. So, we’re not doing THAT again. Although, in taking a bit extra care with dolling up a bit, that’s cool however I’m doing that for myself because I feel all purdy and shit.
Today when said human was about to burst, AB, I stood up, eye level … with the droll expression on my face like, “you’re not really going to burst your fucking gord are you?” It is a dead ass stare, combined with feigned indifference however on the inside, oh man. smh… my heart was so constricted. It’s that fright or flight shit. Anyway… do you know what they did? O.O
There have been ongoing positive changes, that’s true. HOWEVER they made a comment which was aggressive, not at me and then … they went and cooled off. GASP?!? STFU!!! I have to say, I was impressed by that and YOU have to keep your ass in check. Meaning, if someone begins to show the signs of change, in this manner and there have been some… no really, there has been, fight after fight (there have been many) change has occurred in the positive sense. YOU do not get to fuck off and then be an asshole. Although that’s a natural shift in one’s position.
Lemme explain fo’you. You now feel safer, they’re not being “that way” anymore or at minimum making a visible attempt to change. It’s a natural thing that I’ve seen over the years for those who got the change they’ve wanted to get a little cocky and brow beat the person who IS changing versus … you know, accepting it. I realize it’s difficult not to perhaps be a bit cocky however… that’s not really going to be helpful in the long term because why should they change if you’re going to remind them and be an asshole about it? Okay? Okay.
I was impressed. I was. They made a concerted effort to not do what they would normally do. That deserves a cookie. :) In the nice way, where you appreciate how difficult it must be for this person to make this effort. A’m not saying that I believe it will stop completely, however that’s a really cool thing. It really was…
I also want to include in here and for future reference … well… I hate the things that I see people do, however I have no malice in the sense where I want to hurt them. I simply don’t want them to hurt me and this blog is all about my processing things, to make sense out of the shit we/I/you deal with on a daily basis from others and hopefully how to make things better, not just for you… although ultimately that’s what we all want, but for everyone. Okay?
Some, you cannot reach. Me’be I’m wrong… Me’be I’m not. We’ll see. Okay? Okay.
SO!! WAIT! BACK TO THE PERSON WHO I SPOKE TO THE OTHER DAY! OMG!!! I haz such prowdz!!!
They hadda do something today and everyone was in the room and then they were all assertive and setting boundaries and doing all kind of good shit and then, they’d glance at me and I’d be all grinning and happeh (for them, not me, I was a facilitator THEY did that… you see?)
But I gotta tell ya… that was fucking cool. I was so fucking happy about it. Handsome little critter too. I noticed that today, interestingly enough, I hadn’t really noticed before. Oh yeaaaah… it’s that assertiveness I like so much. Oh. Yeah, the direct, assertive, non-assholic assertiveness that’s a very good thing coming from a man. Ooooh I C :)
I know a lot of men like that actually and they’re really cool to talk to. I mean, it’s a pleasure to have conversations with people and go back and forth. You don’t have to fight with most people to be seen or heard or come to common ground.
Maybe that’s why it’s so confusing to me that so many, not all, do that shit. For what? I know… they haven’t learned that life lesson yet as to how that can work out so well for them in the end.
Aaah, life lessons. Fuck you life lessons.
Oh and where ever you are, be good to each other. :)
FUCKING A’ MAN! I WAS SO PROUD !!! OH BEAMING FROM EAR TO FUCKING EAR! YUSH!!!
FUCK YOU! FUCK THAT! GOOD JOB! YES! HA! Oh yeaaaaa… :) I absolutely love seeing people morph. It’s the coolest fucking thing on earth. :)
You know? I’m totally a slut and a cunt to boot. I approve this message. lolol Someone put this word picture up yesterday and conversation ensued as to what a slut is or isn’t, how women do not like being called a slut, the men who are players and the double standard surrounding same. This double standard is not going to change any time soon. No, it’s not. In reality you’re better off doing what you want regardless of what anyone else thinks. More importantly, with all the bullshit in the world as to how many men a woman has slept with as to what makes her a whore, not to mention religious beliefs among other things, there’s all this shame and guilt attached to sex as well. Cuz lord knows she’s totally a slut if she does who she pleases, not to mention looking for permission to do it or should they do it, you know, experiment.
There was a video someone put within it, how they have rally’s about it. I did not know that. Who knew that? Here’s the link it was in London, I think. I watched it and I thought… well, now …
I watched the video in the link above. One person made a comment about how they were sexually violated (horrible) while wearing business attire and that she was not dressed like a “so called Slut”. Fine, however it leads into the perception of what a slut is and what a slut is not.
I’ve heard women call other women sluts on so many occasions as well as men calling women sluts. I personally do not care what a man or a woman’s preference is, as I have my own preferences. See, in this video, while I agree with the idea of getting rid of the double standard, my daughter will come home (and I correct her) and say something how some young girl (for all the wrong reasons in high school) is a slut. So… these things start very young. Not in my house as to the name calling, that’s unacceptable. I have no problem with a woman who does what she wants to do when she wants to do it, providing it’s because she DOES want to do it and hasn’t been preconditioned in some way.
OR the very real fact that there is another side to promiscuous behaviors wherein some women use sex to excel in life through sexual favors or as a career. i.e., strippers, pole dancers etc., things like that, so it ends up lending itself to other things. The concept, to me of slut is … like if you sleep with whomever you like, when you like or more importantly go after someone else’s man because then you’re definitely a slut as well as a home wrecker.I don’t see a problem with that, providing that’s what she wants to do. So the lines in all of this are blurred. I’m not saying that women ARE sluts, they are entitled to do what they want. If you do see a woman dressed in a sexy manner, other women will call her a slut. Trust me :) So, it has to be that not only men however women as well cut this shit out. And a man who is going to cheat, it going to cheat, it happens all the time. He didn’t need said “slut” to show up either.
I correct women constantly for this flaw. I view a woman who other’s call a slut as some what of a barracuda. She wants it, she gets it. Make no mistake, women can be players as well. Absolutely and they go about it making no apologies about it. It’s their life, go on now, do your thing over there and mind your own business. The only thing to worry about is STD’s and one would suggest those who are getting down and dirty make sure to be tested and be careful, you never know what you’ll catch or who your partner has been with either.See, I know in some instances that some women feel threatened by the sexuality of another woman who is “seemingly” more sexual, attractive or assertive than themselves. If they like her, there will be no female bashing, more importantly if they DO like her they will applaud her behavior for doing whatever she pleases and not answering to anyone but herself. If they do not like this woman and they feel threatened (self esteem, sexy, great body, overtly sexual) then all hell can break loose and women WILL and HAVE ganged up on women who they feel are more overtly sexual or have something they themselves do not.
And… perhaps they are, so if they’re that intimidated (which some definitely are) calling this sexy feline a slut is they’re way of dealing with their own insecurities. I find that to be unacceptable behavior. So the term/word “slut” will prevail … based on many, many, variables. Not to mention there are those women who slink up to any man, married, single, involved and don’t care. They’re definitely going to be called a slut. So if a woman is promiscuous what personal boundaries are applicable before a woman is viewed as a slut or a whore? What about gold diggers, bitches, women again who use their sexuality to get what they want.
Hell, some girls are dancers (i.e., strippers) and put themselves through college on that money. What about Hugh Heffner’s girls? Are they sluts too? What about Victoria’s Secret magazines? Porn… let’s get into porn, they’ve fucking for fun and getting paid for it, I think, personally it ruins them however that’s speculation on my part as to the emotional/mental ramifications of these careers as they lead to other things, however they’ll be fine because it’s a lifestyle and others are doing it to… so like what? If they stay within that group, that lifestyle, they’re all good right? As long as it’s kept OVER THERE we’re all good.
Some women are called sluts by their husband or boyfriend if they cheat and those women could be on guy number what? 3/4? I’m sorry you didn’t meet all her needs and she wanted to experiment, me’be you shoulda learned a new twist under the covers because not all men have the same skills in bed NOR are they good students either. Some are simply naturally talented. Yush!!! :) Does this infidelity make them as slut? Why did they cheat? This goes off onto many other things as well. We’ll stick to sluts or the idea of a slut then okay?
At the end of the day, it’s not my business what someone else is doing, nor is what I’m doingtheirs, if a human being is nice and not hurting anyone, go for it. If they’re doing it for all the wrong reasons? That’s when it becomes problematic. So.. you have as an example, these young girls in high school (i.e., who their classmates call sluts) who are promiscuous for all the wrong reasons, this stays with them throughout life … so there are all these variables as to why people/women do the things they do.
Some do it for the attention, some do it BECAUSE of the idea in their head that they’ve got one up on other girls, some do it because they want to be popular among other reasons.
OR the very real fact that there is another side to promiscuous behaviors wherein some women use sex to excel in life through sexual favors or as a career. i.e., strippers, pole dancers etc., things like that, so it ends up lending itself to other things… the concept, to me of slut is … like if you sleep with whomever you like, when you like.
I don’t see a problem with that, providing that’s what she wants to do. So the lines in all of this are blurred. I’m not saying that women ARE sluts, they are entitled to do what they want. If you do see a woman dressed in a sexy manner, other women will call her a slut. Trust me :) So… it has to be that not only men however women as well cut this shit out.
At the end of the day, it’s not my business what someone else is doing, nor is what I’m doing theirs, if a human being is nice and not hurting anyone … go for it. If they’re doing it for all the wrong reasons? That’s when it becomes problematic. So.. you have as an example, these young girls in high school (i.e., who their classmates call sluts) who are promiscuous for all the wrong reasons, this stays with them throughout life … so there are all these variables as to why people/women do the things they do.
Lots of thoughts. So little time. So many variables. I’m not particularly sensitive to the word myself however I don’t like it when I hear it based on the very real fact that some young ladies are/were/started being sexually promiscuous at a very young age. Some women get older, lose weight, become a cougar, get pissed and decide they’re going to fuck whomever they please. Okay, if that is what you really want, then do it. There’s no need to pay attention to what other people may think, say or do. HOWEVER the stigma or perspective as to being a slut prevails. I’m of the mind it always will.Men call women sluts. Many men like to know that the woman they are with haven’t slept with many men, almost like there’s a door prize for it or something. You know, Ohaaaeeey! She has to justify just how many men she’s slept with or she’s a whore or a slut or should be oh so ashamed.
Keeping this in mind men AND women are offending parties. So it becomes are people living up to their own expectations/standards in regards to the things they SO strongly believe. I have no malice mind you however it goes, to me, hand in hand with a person wanting to do what they want to do, however there are all these other variables for why a woman (or a man) would be considered a slut. As long as you are okay with what you are doing, you don’t have to justify it to anyone. If you’re doing it for the wrong reasons, think about it because many do, do such things for all the wrong reasons. You can only lie to yourselves for a while until it catches up to you.
So really at the end of the day … think about the things you do and the why of it all. Then decide who and what you wanna do (pun intended). Some people are self destructing, some have addictions, low self esteem, get an edge and use their sexuality to get what they want (as I’ve already mentioned) so… you be who you wanna be and you know? Me’be that slut over there has some good tips about sex. You may wanna ask her. Oh wait, there’s those closet freaks too… but she’s dressed conservatively. Who knew?
Oh and have a good day, where ever you are and be good to each other. :)